Friday, December 23, 2011

Errbody in the Club Gettin' Issues.

I couldn't think of any funnier way to title this, so I apologize.  This is going to be kind of a personal entry...

I've dealt with abandonment issues since I can reliably remember and I think a little before that as well.  Now, remember, all of my "issues" or "neuroses" are undiagnosed except for by me.  This is just me being self-centered again.  I do it a lot.

Probably why I started a blog.

No, no we're on the topic of abandonment, I will not get into my self-centeredness yet.

I don't know if I fear being left behind and pushed aside and forgotten, or if I just think it's inevitable.  I mean, really, why would anyone want me around?  I forget things, I over book myself on my time with people, I'm not interesting or funny or good looking.  I'm not smart or clever, I'm not gregarious, I'm not social.  I have no idea why people hang out with me, ever.  I have no idea why people even bother to talk to me.  I've never known.  And when people do come into my life and talk to me and hang out with me and make a point to be around me (no matter how small a part of our relationship that point is) all I'm doing is waiting for them to get tired of me and leave, because I know it's bound to happen some time.

I also have a hard time forgetting people who come into my life and make an impact, even though I know I'm probably the last person they'll ever think about.

My parents never gave me any reason to believe they'd leave me behind or forget about me, but I was always sure that when it came time to push me out into the world, they'd just let me go and not give a shit about me.  I've since learned that was wrong thinking, since I am even closer to them than before.  But they're the only ones who haven't.  They haven't pushed me away, they haven't left me behind, they haven't forgotten about me.

Everyone else has.

Sometimes I don't know why I bother.  With getting close to people, I mean.  Obviously no one wants to, and I always attach myself to them more than they're attached to me.  I never choose to leave people behind, if I've said I have, I'm lying.

But then again, we'll head back to the self-centered issue and assume I'm just being conceited and move on with our lives, shall we?

I've tried so hard in this blog to make it sound like everything is going to be okay and that I'm fine and I don't have any emotional issues with anything.  I probably failed miserably, but now I'm not even going to try.

Not today anyway.

So, abandonment issues and self-image issues and self-centeredness issues and all, here I am.  You don't have to like it, you don't have to keep reading, you don't have to be my friend, you don't have to like me.  I'm used to it, I'll get by.  It won't be fine.  It won't be okay, but I'll do it.

Here's an apology I wrote when I was fourteen and trying so hard to be emo just to fit in with someone, because sometimes I still feel that way.  I doubt I'll ever stop:

I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be
I'm sorry I'm too short and fat
I'm sorry for being lazy
I'm sorry for being a procrastinator
I'm sorry I lie
I'm sorry I cheat
I'm sorry I don't do what you want
I'm sorry I can't do anything right
I'm sorry I don't tell you everything
I'm sorry for everything

I'm sorry you expect too much of me
I'm sorry I can't grow and shrink
I'm sorry I don't want to be motivated
I'm sorry I want to put everything off
I'm sorry I don't tell the truth
I'm sorry I don't always do things morally
I'm sorry I do what I want
I'm sorry I do things wrong
I'm sorry I'm afraid to tell you who I really am
I just feel like you wouldn't accept anything other than what you want.


That's that I suppose...

I'm going to go finish the cry I started up about halfway through this, then I'm going to promptly attempt to pretend it never happened.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Virginia Tech is in the News Again [Warning, mild irreverence towards the middle bit] [EDIT]

Okay, so when I wrote this, most people still had no idea what was going on, and I'd looked some of it up, but I did not have a whole lot of information.  This is all just me trying to make it make sense in my head, I know it's irreverent and off color, and all sorts of wrong as far as information goes, but that's because I was working with a lot of speculation and not a whole lot of fact.

I know it probably didn't have anything to do with exams or anything.  I warned you that it wasn't going to be serious.  This is how I cope.  I'm sorry if I offended anyone or made anyone upset or uncomfortable.  That was not my intention.

As I'm sure most of you already know, there was a shooting today at Virginia Tech again.  No where near as bad as April 16, 2007, but still it is sad.  My heart goes out to the family of the two deceased and for the criminal still at large, because obviously someone here needs more love in their life.

I don't want to make over-light a serious situation, but a lot of times my reaction to shocking things is to come up with witty remarks to buffer the harsh reality of tragedy.

I was one of those people who thought the "What's shakin' Haiti?" jokes were hilarious the day after.

But I'm going to bring up a pretty good point with it too, I think.

Exams are not that serious, guys.  There is no need to shoot people over them.  Everyone's stressed out and having a rough time.  Yes, it's also the Christmas Season.  Chill out.  Nothing is that serious, especially not college exams.

Okay, I think that got my point across fairly well.  Dry humor.  Dry, Dark humor.

Not to mention, since the first victim (not the officer) was found in a parking lot, how many people want to bet it was a drug deal gone wrong?  I mean, I'm just saying, there are exams coming up, people want academic performance enhancing drugs, shit goes down in a parking lot, some guy doesn't get his Adderall and he goes a little nuts, then he realizes he just killed someone over exams, gets caught by a police man, panics, and shoots again.  Doesn't it make sense?

I think it does...

Again, I really don't want to over do the funny here, because this is a serious matter.  I feel immensely sorry for the families of the officer, the person in the parking lot and the shooter, as well as all the students and faculty on and around campus.  Not a single one of them asked for this, and it's truly a horrific matter.

Let's remember the lives of those lost, today, with the solemnity and honor due to their deaths.  Please forgive my irreverence previous, as I'm only trying to wrap my head around it still.

And I pray to God that no more untimely death occurs today.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers

Thursday, November 17, 2011

This? This sucks.... [EDIT]


As it turns out, I got cold feet and bailed.  Since GL and I cannot afford to live without roommates, we're both staying in this house.  Hopefully things can be worked out.  Probably not, but might as well hope anyway.  I think mostly that this was a situation exacerbated by the fact that GL and the mean girl have very strong, very opposite personalities.  I mean it was still wrong, but hopefully we can work something out.  I feel really bad for the young woman they found to try and sublease to, but sine the landlord wouldn't consider letting us terminate the lease until after he met her, and since at that point I had already made up my mind to back out of the new place, it's kind of a moot point.

But I do feel better about this whole situation now.  And I mean, we only have to stay until July and then we never have to come back here again if we don't want to.

Anyway...I have work today at 7 and I don't know if I'm supposed to wear team gear or not.  I would assume not, but I was never told one way or the other.   So, I will be going to work in my work clothes and they can kiss my patootie if I'm the only one not in team gear.

Hi all,
Good to know you're all still here, I know I'm not very consistent with my updates.

I'm moving again.  I know it's only been three months, but there you have it.

Here's the downlow.

The two girls GL and I moved in with seemed all right at first.  They were friendly enough and seemed to at least have some sort of agreement with one another about cleaning up.  It looked as though one would clean up after the dogs (reluctantly) and the other would do the dishes (when she was home).  Which was ok, not ideal, but we could handle it.

When things started to get nasty (i.e. the dog messes were not cleaned up right away, the cat wasn't being tested for feline diseases like AIDS or Leukemia, and had Feline Herpes on it's face anyway) we held a house meeting to try and get the issue resolved.  Another thing we'd decided we were finished with having around the house were the dishes in the sink that weren't what we had used and that they hadn't cleaned yet.  Sometimes it would go days before the dishes were done.  We didn't care what had to happen, but we just wanted their mess to be regularly cleaned up more than once a week.

So what they did was they made a chore-chart (without consulting us about it anyway) and put us down for chores.  We told one of the girls that we were just going to do our own dishes and they could do theirs.  We completely ignored the chore chart after that, but luckily it was the other girl's turn to do them as per her assignment.  She waited a week to get them done and probably only because she was having company (which we again were not aware of).  Note, the house is a complete disaster zone that just smells like piss and shit most of the time, and they ONLY really clean it all up if someone is coming and the girls care about what they see (i.e. parents, landlord).  Boyfriends, who are over here all the time, do not get this sort of luxury, so they see the house at its worst and still are with the girls, which suddenly leads me to believe they are telling people it's OUR mess, which is most definitely is not.  We hardly even go out into the common areas -- living room and kitchen -- and when we do we pick up after ourselves and wash our dishes and as much mess as we can.

So the next week, it was my turn to wash the dishes, according to this poor doomed chore chart.  And I wasn't going to wash their dishes because I didn't help make that mess.  Simple and exactly what we'd already told them.  By the end of the week the sink area was full of dishes GL and I had not used.  They'd made huge meals in all the pots and pans and dishes, and had just put them in the sink to soak.  And left them there.  When the girl who had put up the chore chart (hey guess what, we're not exactly fond of her because she expects us to clean up after her, which we refuse to do because she is an adult and should clean up her own mess, and because we were not hired to be their maids or their mothers) texted and asked us to feed the cat over thanksgiving break, we told her sure, but only if she washed her dishes first.  Seems like a fair trade, right?

Wrong, apparently, because she blew up.  When we first insisted that we weren't going to do it, she said that if there were any dishes left in the sink she'd throw them out.  Since most of the dishes are either GLs or mine, they still wouldn't have anything to cook with and that's our goddamn property.  You can't threaten to throw it out.  So she told us to get all of our things out of the kitchen, or else they'd be used as target practice if she had to clean any of it.  So we did what she'd requested and got ALL of our things out of the kitchen and packed them up.  Like I said, this kind of shit (less threatening of course, but still expecting us to clean up after her) has been happening since the beginning, so we decided this was the last straw, she would not be able to threaten our things in the place we're all living in again.  We'd just leave.  We found a listing for an apartment the same day, and we looked at it the next day.  We liked it enough so we're going to take it.  We should be out by the end of the week.

We told the spoiled girl that day that fine, we would just leave, and that they could take care of the $900 rent and switching the utilities and finding new roommates.  We told the nicer of the two girls that we'd moved all of our things from the kitchen and were finding a new place.  They then decided to be petty about us cleaning up things, none of their examples being good ones, especially not in light of this particular situation or the fact that our shit has been destroyed by the mean one's pets.  I mean the girl has a puppy and a kitten and she doesn't train either of them.  She lets the kitten run free throughout the house ALL THE TIME, and the poor puppy is always in her crate because this girl is NEVER HOME.  Keep in mind that the puppy is a large breed dog, is super smart and has lots of energy.  She shouldn't be in this apartment anyway and she certainly shouldn't have to be kept in a crate all day.  This girl shouldn't have gotten pets she was not capable of taking care of properly or giving all the love they need, but that's neither here nor there.  The point of the matter is, her pets have destroyed numerous things of ours and this girl hasn't even OFFERED to help pay for or replace the items.  I don't even care if she really wanted to or not, the point is that she never even really apologized for it.

UGh....I've been bottling things again, you'll have to excuse me.  It makes my tummy all nervous and twisty and my mind's been racing and I've been unable to control my reactions to emotions very well.

I just needed to get most of this out.

I don't care if we look like the petty ones who are blowing up.  I don't want to hear about it.  I know what it looks like, I'm very conscious of it.  Especially since they're telling people god knows what about the situation.

And not to mention if we confront these girls in person, we're ALL friendly and polite and we just constantly ignore the elephant in the room -- the real issue here.  We DO NOT communicate.  At all.  We don't know what they're doing, but we tell them if we're having people over, or, you know, that we're getting a new pet before the fact.

The whole pet thing is the real issue here, but the dishes were just the last nail in the coffin.  I'll be glad when this whole ordeal is over and I NEVER have to deal with them again.

We're going to be subletting to people until our lease here is up, so August.  I do not plan to move again in May but we're going to see how it things are come March with the new place.  I fully expect to stay at this apartment until we do our big move and I never have to live in this area again unless I choose to.

*takes deep breath*

Until next time, dear readers.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Among Other Things...

...This layout isn't exactly my cup of tea.  I think it's just because I was used to the other way and now they've changed the whole damn thing.  Eh, whatever.

I hate when people I want to like and be friends with do shit that makes me not feel bad about them anymore.  It's those people who post annoyingly depressing facebook updates I'm talking about specifically right now.

See, I have this friend and well call him CD for...idk, Cool Dude, or something.  Anyway, point is, he's posted mostly statuses of his girl troubles for YEARS.  I finally got up the gumption to talk to him, hoping to relieve some of the self-inflicted girl pain for him and get him to know a girl who isn't a shallow bitch trying to get into his pants and bring drama all the time.

So what does he do?  He responds for a little bit and then now when I try and say hi, I get no response.  He's still out there, posting his passive-agressive facebook statuses, but he won't talk to me.

So I think I'm just going to let him dig his own hole.  Great guys are always going to get turned down if they always ignore the girl trying to be the good friend and date only bitches n' hos.


He's always asking for places to be on the weekend, and I've told him we should hang out, but I'm leaving it at that and if he really wants someone to hang out with, he can still get in touch with me, but I'm sorry, partying is not where I want to be right now, and certainly not with the shallow, insecure, drama-bringing girls he normally hangs out with.  I just won't deal with it.

Buh, sorry to rant in your faces guys.  I'll try to chill out about it.

Hey, guess what?!  We got our house cleansed by GL's bestest boss in the whole entire world, and I haven't had any of those night terror/ghost things since!!  We'll just keep hoping it stays that way :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Things that Terrify Me (1/?)

Over the course of about two weeks to a month, I've had a number of episodes where I will be partially awake in my bed and unable to move.  During this time, I can feel the bed moving and I hear things, most commonly voices.  I feel terror and dread, usually, and I cannot move much or speak.  I have come to the conclusion that I am experiencing some sort of sleep paralysis or night terror, and normally I can will it away by forcing myself back to sleep, or by fighting it off by imagining myself surrounded by a bright white light of protection.

Last night I had about four or five episodes, scattered between dreaming and sleeping.

It was disturbing.  You try waking up in the middle of the night with your bed moving and not be able to know why.  That and the auditory hallucinations.  THOSE are creepy.  I can never actually make out words, but it's like it's right by my ear.  They're raspy and are probably only my head against the pillow, but my GOD does it scare the bejeebus out of me.

That and all my dreams were like I was actually living them.  They were realistic and I never knew where I was or where I was supposed to be, or what I was supposed to be doing.  Luckily my mommy was in my dream, so she helped a little bit.

I'm sure there will be more posts on this subject, so stay tuned.  But for right now I'm going to scare off my willies and try and not be so shaky.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Of Shoes and Ships and Ceiling Wax...

Of cabbages and kings...

Yes I know, Alice.  Thank you :)

My genetic seasonal agoraphobia has kicked in a little early this year.  Normally I don't see it until it starts getting dark around 6 or so.  I got it from my mother, who finds it difficult to leave the house in the evenings when it's dark and cold.  Normally this isn't an issue, since I rarely leave the house in the evenings anyway.  However, since I've signed myself up for a night class this semester, it's become something of an issue.

I've been having some strange dreams recently.  I think they're mostly strange because they're super-long, epic-story-types and that I remember them.

Last night there was magic and dragon-men and vampires and sex and other things that don't really make sense when itemized like this, but I remember, very vividly, being in a bathroom at one point (one of those gas station type deals with just the toilet and the sink), and that I needed to go out into the hall to face the dragon that was out there but I was fucking TERRIFIED of doing so, so I pressed myself up against the door and pretended to not exist, which didn't fool the dragon.  He tapped on the door with his tail (don't ask me how I know, I just do) and I was like "Someone's in here!"  Like he was just asking to use the toilet.  At some point I left the bathroom and he was gorgeous and he wasn't bad or mean or evil or anything I'd been led to believe up until that point about dragon men.  And then of course, he held me close and was very safe and comforting and I'm pretty sure it was at about this point in the dream that I realized that in real life I was sleeping.  I continued dreaming of course, but it was a weird state of "oh yeah, I'm not actually awake.  That's fine then."

The night before was of royalty and castles and locking people into rooms and love and forbidden love, and churches and kings and rollercoasters and a confessional and...yeah.  Idk, apparently I am very, very fantastical when I dream.  Also, romance novel-y.

It's hard for me to explain my dreams when I have them and I remember them.  Because I can only visually remember them and I can't come up with the words to describe what's happening in my dreams.  I feel like I'm describing a Picasso to a blind man.  He's never going to understand because I'm not sure it really even makes sense to me.  To him, I'm crazy and to me, he's just not in my head so he won't ever understand.

Have you ever described a dream to someone and halfway through your description, you realize you're retarded?

Yeah, I feel like that about now.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers,

Saturday, September 10, 2011

What do you do when...

Your roommates leave their pets outside on a hot day?  I really wish I didn't have to know.

I want to bring them in, but GL and I have been told to just leave them where they are when their owners leave because they'll be back soon (ish).  Soon by their standards is not soon by ours.

Especially on hot days like today.  I don't really even care that they have fleas or anything.  One of them is a chihuahua and is on a line that just barely reaches shade.  I had to BRING THEM water, because it wasn't already put out there with them.

I just don't understand how people can think this is OK.  This is NOT okay.  Funny thing is, if they saw animals being treated like this on a TV show, they would think "how cruel are those owners?" and immediately want to save them.

It's the SAME. GODDAMN. THING.  You cannot just leave your dogs outside, no matter for how long you're gone, without giving them water or some sort of shelter if it rains or gets too hot.


I'm just...I'm thisclose to bringing them inside anyway, because it breaks my fucking heart to see them not being taken care of like they need to be.

Fuck...I'm gonna cry now...

This is so goddamn frustrating.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Already, Today is Looking Up

Yes, I realize it's a little late in the day to be posting something with that sort of title, but I couldn't think of another way to put how today has gone.

Today is Wednesday, and, as I have informed you previously, usually Wednesdays kick my ass.  All over the place.

The fact that I have been chatted up by a serial tickler on a dating website and got to class without too much incident, today is still one of my better Wednesdays.

It has occurred to me, over the past couple of Wednesdays, that the days will indeed be getting shorter as the seasons march onwards, and that the parkinglot that I am required to park in for this class only as a few lightposts, half of which are on the far side of the lot, and the ones closest to the building are already crowded around by people who aren't even sticking around until dark.  As a young woman, when I leave class, I'm positively terrified that someone's going to jump out from behind a parked car and attack me.  Since I'm a relatively shy person, I'm almost more terrified to ask someone to walk me to my car (preferably an intimidating looking man, but any sort of buddy will do in the buddy-system).  Hopefully someone will notice that I usually leave the building alone in the dark and will take pity on me and start walking me to my car just out of niceness and not because I'm scared of what's in the dark.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers

Sunday, September 4, 2011

I Look Like A Pirate Right Now.

And I thought you guys should know.

I'm not sure if it's the fact that my hair is kind of messy and I'm wearing earrings or if I'm always this much of a badass and I just don't usually notice it.

It's probably the fact that I'm always a badass, actually.  You know, now that I think of it and all.

I hope that's not intimidating for any of you.  Really, despite the badassery over here, I'm a nice person! I swear!

But in all seriousness, I could totally kick your ass.  You know, if I wanted to.

It's just the earrings, don't worry.  I haven't taken them out yet, because I like feeling like a badass, curled up in my bed and reading Star Trek porn on the internet.  But yeah, thought you guys'd be interested in knowing that I'm actually kind of really fucking cool.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers

Friday, September 2, 2011

Why Must The Girl Always Be The Bad Guy?


No really.  Please, let me know if you have the answer.  Why must we always be "the bitch?" Or "the dirty ho-bag."  Why are we always painted as the villain?  Why is this the social norm?

Why can't I have been doing something nice, something thoughtful, something not self-centered for once?  Why can't I be a fish out of water in a new situation that I realize I don't want to be in, and I try and fix it so as not to hurt him?

Why can't we just assume people are doing it for good reasons?  Why must it always be a bad thing that people don't work out as a couple?

Why should my best friend have to break up with her boyfriend because he doesn't treat her right, and have to be painted as the crazy bitch who broke up with him via text because he wouldn't wake up because he was sick?

Why should I have to be painted as someone with commitment issues when all I was doing was realizing that I wasn't as attracted to the guy as I wanted to be, but since he was a nice guy, I didn't want to lead him on?


Why is it that when these things happen, us girls sit and cry over the issue, because we're "the bad guys" and really, it should be the GUYS who are crying over it.  We shouldn't have to worry about what he's going to tell his friends about us.  We shouldn't have to stay in a relationship so he can break up with us when he finally reaches the same page.

I fucking hate our society right now.  This is ridiculous.  It shouldn't be like this.  And yet, I find more and more that it is, and that I can't change it alone.

We need to start assuming people are doing things for the right reasons, and not for the wrong ones.

Please.  Please, me with this, because I can't stand the thought of another girl out there who is being painted as some crazy scary person because she wants to do the right thing in the relationship and end it.  It's not worth it.

It's not.

Until next time,

So, I've Been Having Spontaneous Nose Bleeds This Week...

Yes, Spontaneous Nose Bleeds.

You should know a few things about me.  A) I don't have nose bleeds that often, and b) they've become more frequent as of late.

It all started last summer, while I was in the sunny state of Louisiana.  Which is not a smart idea, if you're thinking about it.  Louisiana is HOT already, and going during the warmest part of the year is not as much fun as you think it's going to be.  I loved the experience, but I'm also a masochist, so we know what that tells you.

Anways, so while I was down there, at one point during my stay I suddenly had a teeny-tiny nose bleed that I only noticed because I had allergies and was blowing my nose CONSTANTLY.  And whilst doing so, occasionally there would be a teeny-tiny amount of dried blood in my tissue.  I didn't really think much of it, since it was so small.  It was explained to me that the switching from superhothumidwarm to freezingcolddryairconditioning might cause a nose bleed.  I accepted this and everything was fine.

I didn't have another nose bleed until winter time.  I was at school, killing time between classes in the library and I was drawing.  As it was winter, my nose was runny, and had been for some time.  I was unable to locate tissues, and tried my best to sniffle it up.  This, obviously, was not the ideal method of stopping my nose from running, but I was too lazy to get up and catch it anyway (if this joke is lost on you, I'm really sorry).

Anyway, it wasn't until after I'd broken down and used my sleeve to catch my nose drippings (yes, I know, ew.  Don't judge me, I've seen you do it too!) that anything became obviously wrong.  Suddenly, on the drawing I was working on, there was a spot of blood.  And then another and then suddenly I had a gusher and I left my things in the library and ran to the restroom for paper towels to stop the bleeding and to clean up my mess.  Then I made sure someone had some antibacterial wipes to clean up better and I grabbed my belongings and made it over to the security desk to let them know I had a bleeder and they gave me tissues instead and things went much better after I stopped bleeding.

This was also easily explained by the fact that I was going from very cold to rather warm and dry in quick succession.

I didn't have anymore nose bleeds until this past week.

First one was on Wednesday on my way back from class.  I was just driving along, and I had my A/C off, and my window was down and then I got chilly so I rolled the window up and just jammed in my car to the music and didn't change a thing about the temperature.

And suddenly my nose just was very very runny.  Now, I have had a stuffy nose recently, so it's not completely unheard of that your nose could run spontaneously.  Except my nose doesn't normally run that quickly, even when it runs.  And before I knew it it was down my face and very wet and uncomfortable and luckily I had napkins in the car, because otherwise I don't think my hand could have taken it.  There was blood all over the place, except on my car or on my shirt.  Which I guess isn't exactly all over the place, but it sure did feel like it!

Anyway, by the time I got home it was pretty much done.  And everything was fine, it was just a weird spontaneous nose bleed.

And then, last night, while hanging out with the family, like I do every Thursday evening, suddenly it was like my nose was running, but down my throat, and it was gross tasting, and it was weird and I couldn't understand how it was just going down the back of my throat and not out of my nose as well.  So I decided the best course of action would be to blow my nose.  Which made it apparent that I was actually bleeding.

So, luckily I was next to the tissue box and was able to take care of everything.  We're attributing it to the fact that I have a slight anemia problem caused by a lack of iron. Or something like that.  Anyway, fact is, that I need to eat more foods with iron in them and start taking my multivitamins more often.  So that's what I'm going to do and hopefully tonight I will not have a nose bleed.  Because they're not fun.

Until Next Time, Dear Reader

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

If This is How Every Wednesday Is Going To Go...

...For the rest of the semester, then someone shoot me please.

The class isn't even all that bad.  It's the people on the road I hate.  We can't get our cars up to the speedlimit, so I can't drive my car up the goddman mountains, so I piss people off by proxy, and then I have to sit for FUCKING ever to try and get to the PARKING LOT for class.  It is completely unnecessary and dumb and I hate it.

I swear to god, if Wednesdays are going to be back out to kick my ass this semester, I'm going to kill someone.  Hopefully one of the obnoxious old dogs that live in my apartment building, because it'll be less suspicious if one of them dies.  Also, no one likes them anyway.

Ugh, sorry to rant at you guys.  You didn't do anything to deserve it, and I apologize.

Unless you're one of the dumbasses on the road, in which case, all my rage to you.

I don't like using the school's computers for this, because something is always screwy with the interface.  I'm much better off blogging from home.  Unfortunately I need to go to classes so I can have money to blog from home, so you get random rage-blogs because I have anger issues I haven't really ever discussed before.

Now to think of things that won't piss me off and leave me in a bad mood for the rest of the class:
Puppies (wrong, because puppies pee in houses, and that's the issue we have now)
Kittens (which makes me miss mine, even though she lives only a few minutes away)
Food (no, just ate...)
Well, fine then, I just won't think of happy things!


Well, until next time, dear readers

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Doggy Facebook

I once read that dogs communicate not only audibly through sounds that most of the time only they can pick up, but also through their excrement.

(Thought of a funny, and will share it now:  Dogs are always shit-talkers!)

And not just the poo, but also their pee, too.

If you haven't guessed where I'm going with this by now, allow me to enlighten you.

Whenever your dog goes out to do their business, it's like they're checking facebook ("Oh my gosh, weirdest thing ever, there's a cat in my house!") or twitter ("Gottagogottagogottago--BIRD") or other social networking sites.  Sometimes it's a bit like a dating site ("Hey, cute small dog from upstairs whose owner feeds her human food sometimes, you smell cute, do you like me too?").  Sometimes I swear it's an art site ("I will make this beautiful and others will comment on it" "Oh my gosh, that looks like shit! You're amazing!").  Other times, I think they might be blogging ("And over here I will tell them about such and such, here I will say this, and over here, I will post about a new theory about how humans use the internet like a potty and tell everyone about their days through small blurbs.")

I even have mock posts from a good portion of the dogs that live in our building.

The husky who lives downstairs, "Oh my GOD I fucking hate small dogs, must kill must kill must kill, etc"

The puppy who lives with the husky, "There are things, in the skyyyyyyy and I'm not sureeeee, I've sung about it already, but I don't know what I'm supposed to doooooooo, and I smell other dogs, but I don't knoooooooowww"

The old beagle who lives downstairs, "Oh how I miss my days as a lounge singer, so I shall sing once more!" (To which there are THOUSANDS of comments from the other dogs on how she should just stop, there's a reason she had to keep her day job, etc.)

The chihuahua who lives in our apartment, "......" Give him some slack, he's like an old guy trying to learn facebook to keep in touch with his grandchildren and just not having it work at all.  Also, he pees inside for no good reason.

The puppy who also lives in our apartment, "Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, etc."  (She just wants to be loved) Also sometimes she probably does the whole posting of a sad emo song lyric to show how much she wants to be loved.

The Maggie-doggy who is the bestest in the whole world, "Had the worst day ever, Mommy left me for HOURS.  Had the best day ever, Mommy came back!"  (she's prone to swings like that when "Mommy" is gone)

And the dog who's living upstairs for now while its parents are hiding from floodwaters from the hurricane, "Hi, I'm new here, be my friend?"

I have no life, as I'm sure you've figured out.

In the end, the next time you're frustrated with your dog taking so long to sniff everything outside while they're out to do their business, remember:  Your dog is patient when you check your facebook, be patient while they check theirs.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Inappropriate Songs

I did a bit on this on a previous journal on my dA, and I had it happen again.

An inappropriate song is something that does not match the mood of whatever you're doing.  If you're at a funeral (or reading about the death of a favorite character) you probably do not want to hear "Closer" by NIN or if there's a villainous monologue, "Cuppy-cake" by an adorable 3 year old is probably not the song for the mood.

Similarly, if you're reading a sex scene, and you're getting into it, you probably REALLY don't want to hear Peanut Butter Jelly Time.  Because then you'll have to take a quick break as you giggle to yourself and write a blog about it.  Like I just did.

Just saying.  It totally breaks the mood.  It happens more often than not, and I forget I have places to tell people about it :D

Sunday, August 14, 2011

This is too much trouble.

Okay, so situation with new-boy has progressed pretty far.  Right now I'm not worried about it, but later I might have to be.

In other words, this is a post about my hickey, so if you're not willing to read that, probably you should just move on.

Okay, so I have new-boy.  And yesterday all four of us hung out.  We did not go to the waterfall hike that I said we were going to go on, mostly because it looked like rain and we didn't want to be an hour's hike up a mountain in the rain.  So we hung out around town, which was nice, and then after lunch, GL's boy had to go pick up his best friend, and the rest of us headed inside GL and I's apartment.  GL went to take a nap and obviously new-boy and I played a game of go fish in my room.  WRONG, no actually, we did not, but that's what I'm going to refer to in this blog as what we did, because I want to be ridiculous right now, so that's what I'm going to do.

So we played some Go-Fish for a while and during the course of the game, I acquired a large BRUISE on my neck.  I realize these are requirements for having a hickey, but I mean really.  It was purple and kind of darkish and I was really excited about it.  Until I showed it to GL, who promptly accidentally reminded me that I had work today.

Work, where I wait tables on rather well-off types who know that I do not usually wear a whole lot of make-up (to any men in the audience, this will come into play later).

Well, we also had dinner with my sister, so I had to leave the mark unattended until afterwards.  Then me and GL went back home and played doll for a little bit so she could try to hide the mark for me so I could know how to do it today.  Well, things went well, since her boy came back over and he could hardly tell there was a mark, and I could look in the mirror and not tell there was a mark -- just that there was a shitton of makeup on my neck.  So we called it good, she set up the supplies in the bathroom in the order I would need them and we all went to bed (after I showered, which may have been my biggest mistake.  I'm pretty sure at this point, I should have just showered before putting the makeup on and then done touchups this morning).

Throughout the course of the evening, I'll have you know, GL kept reassuring me that since I heal well, it should be mostly gone by this morning, don't worry.  Unfortunately for all involved this did not occur.  Unfortunately for me because it meant I still had to put on a whole lot of makeup, and unfortunately for her because I think she wanted this to be as easy for me as I wanted it to be.

Well anyway, TL;DR: I put the makeup on and it's not as good as it was last night, and now I have shittons of makeup on my neck and my collar of my work uniform.  And now I'm kind of pissy and self conscious about it.

And I have makeup all over my uniform's collar.  Which is just obnoxious, since it's a polo.


Until Next Time, Dear Readers,

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Yesterday...Kind of Rocked.

I hate when blogs get all self-centered and focused on the daily life of the blogger. So I'm going to tell you about the great day I had yesterday! :D

As you know, I've been on this dating site for a little while.  Been messaging with a few guys, keepin' it real.  Nothing serious had occurred, though I'd met one of them in person.  It was boring and I was getting tired of it, but I liked talking to a few of the fellas so I was just going to keep going until I was so bored I just up and quit.

And then one of the guys I've been talking to asked me to lunch.  I thought that sounded like a fun idea, as I don't generally do anything out of the ordinary for lunch, and GL was sleeping anyway (it's okay, she found a boy so she needs her sleeps :D).  So I said sure, and we met up at the same pizza place I met the other guy from the same site.

I am SO GLAD this one went better.  I mean, the guy I'd met before, we'll call him UJ, he was alright, but he was just a little standoffish, and while he wasn't exactly mean to our server, he wasn't nice either.  Which I take even more into account now that I myself am something of a server (I don't really count it though because I work at a buffet and I know we don't do anything quite to the rigors of a full restaurant).  MOVING ON.  Anyway, so I just thought he was a boring fellow and he texted me later saying how wonderful it was that we hit it off right away.  And soon, he got annoying, so I've taken to ignoring his texts a little bit.  It's not nice, but then again, why should I have to be?

ANYWAY, so the good things:  So we go out for pizza and our meal goes well, we just sit there talking and hitting it off and such.  He paid, which was amazing.  I've never met a guy who pays for you just because you're a girl.  He says that's how he was raised, but honestly, that's still really just...I'm still in shock and awe over it.  I don't think I expressed that very well to GL when I was telling her all the deets last night, but...Usually guys make us go dutch, mostly because we are all poor college students, but still.  It was just really nice of him.  He totally didn't know why I was thanking him for it, and that was hilarious.  He thought I was talking about the mints.  Which is just silly.

So we leave the restaurant and he tells me he's thought of something fun for us to do, since we're both acquainted with the area pretty well (I mean, I ought to be, I grew up here...) and he suggests going to feed ducks at the local duck pond.  I agree because, hey I haven't done that since I was young enough to want to do that always.  Probably about fifteen years or so.  Rough estimate.  But in order to feed the ducks, we must give them bread, since they do not eat tortillas, (not that it would have mattered, as we did not have tortillas either).  And then we had to figure ourselves through the rigors of trying to figure out where to park the cars, since I don't have a student tag, and I also have no idea where I'm going.  Plus, we still needed to get bread and that was just HIGHLY inconvenient.

So we figured out that we could head to a foodlion near by, grab the bread, leave my car, take his, and walk down to the duck pond.  And that's what we did.  So we found a bench kind of out of the way, because, dude, who wants to be all up in peoples' ways when you're feeding ducks?  So of course where we're sitting there are no ducks.  No ducks at all.  So instead we have this loaf of bread and no ducks to feed it to.  So we sit there at chitchat some more before the ducks finally head over our way, and we attempt to feed them.  Then the ducks swarmed.  It was kind of hilarious, and also kind of frightening.  Have you ever been surrounded by hungry ducks?  You know the feeling.  You go "how on earth is this even happening to me?  This only happens on television!"  and then you realize you still don't live in a tv show and you need to GTFO right now or you'll be eaten by a pack of ducks.  So we got rid of the bread and ran to some gardens on campus.  Then we hung out under this really neat gazebo thing that was absolutely covered in vines.  And we chatted for like...ever.  I left there four hours after we'd met for lunch.

I even let him kiss me :)  THAT's how well it went.  And you know what, I'm totally fine with that.

He wants to go hiking next.  He actually wanted to go this afternoon, but I babysit on Wednesday evenings and had forgotten at the time he brought it up, so we're going to reschedule so that GL and her boy can come too, because it will be AWESOME.  Apparently I'm going to get lots of out doors exercise with this boy.  I'm not totally mad about it. :D

Until Next Time, Dear Readers

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

You Want To Know Something That Men Don't Know?

Women.  Specifically women on their periods.

If I had any male readers left, I have now lost them all.  Except for the weirdos, but, since this is the internet, that's OK.

Anyway, I bring this up because I myself am a woman.  Well, more or less.  I have all the lady-parts and I experience the monthly cycle described above.  ANYWAY, moving on:

I am a woman and my father is a man.  However, he should be one of the most qualified men for raising two daughters, since he grew up with only his mother and his younger sister, then married a woman with a sister, then proceeded to have two daughters.  The poor man lacks a little testosterone in his life, but you would think he'd have the best grasp on the female mindset after all these years.


If one of the women in our family decides to speak to the man while she is on her monthly cycle, she is likely to notice that he doesn't quite grasp the concept of "Yes, of course you're right.  Chocolate?"  No, instead he proceeds to speak with you as though it is any other time of the month, especially if he's got a bone to pick with you on a certain subject.

This always leads to tears and shouting and never on his part.  Also, angry faces.

He simply doesn't grasp that there is a HEEEuuuuge difference between the mind of a woman during her period and the mind of the same woman any other time.  We are irrational creatures, with a penchant for pettiness and for wanting things our way, all the time.  We are cranky easily, things irk us more and quicker, and nothing seems to be going the way we want it to, because of said irrationality.

One cannot speak rationally to a woman on her period, and men don't understand this.  They just go about their lives with not a care in the world for how annoyed or upset we are.  Very few men can be trained to accommodate the needs of a woman during her period, and fewer try to train them.  All they need to be taught is to agree with us for one week (all I'm asking is one week) during the month when we seem to be our most irrational, and then to give us chocolate at random points, maybe when they feel they've had to agree an exorbitant amount and are tired of listening to us whine and complain.  Chocolate works very well for shutting women up, since our mouths are otherwise occupied.

Or at the very least, avoid us and don't speak to us unless spoken to, and only then to say "yes, of course."  And always lie to us about the important things while we are on our periods.  It's most helpful.

...I'm pretty sure that's it.  I'm only rational and clear-headed and not totally ranting, mostly teaching, right now, because I'm not on my period while I write this.  So, yes, indeed.  Keep to the basics: Agree, offer chocolate, don't speak unless spoken to, and just leave us alone, and you should be A-OK.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Well Hello Again!

Hi to all and sundry,

This is the update on the not-date, because I didn't really feel like editing my earlier post.  It's too much work.

His name is hard to pronounce, and he has a rather strong accent, but after two hours, it was like he was speaking perfect 'Meruhkin.  We had TONS in common, and even though there would be some times where conversation would just stop suddenly, we'd start back up again like it hadn't.  It was really nice.

Also the food was delicious and I had tons of soda so I should be up for at least a little while, Haha.

He's just a guy who wants a friend, and I think that's quite alright with me.

Maybe this dating website thing isn't as bad as I have found it to be so far.

Until Next Time, Dear Reader

Here's Your Horoscope For Today

Does anyone but me know that particular Weird Al song?


Didn't think so.

Anyway, not important.  I merely had a minor incident regarding my evening plans an my horoscope, but I've decided it wasn't as crazy as I thought it was...Maybe. day has been fairly good.  I woke up at the crack of dawn on a saturday to go earn monies, and I got out at noon.  I brought Bojangles home for the family, and we enjoyed it thoroughly.  And then I made dinner plans with a guy off of a dating site.

Yeah...I know, that last bit isn't as normal as I was planning on today being.

Have I mentioned I didn't (and still don't) get out much?  Yeah...that's what I'm doing tonight though, getting out I mean.  I'm going to a local Italian place (more pizza than "Italian" per se, but whatever) to meet this guy I met online.  So yeah...

Uh...right. So...yep.  Uh-huh.

Ok, so I'm going to go now, because that was pretty much it for right now.  I may or may not update you on the aftermath of the not-date later.  We'll see how long I last as far as staying awake goes.  Waking up at 5 in the morning almost every morning is tough when you're not used to it.

Until Next Time, Dear Reader

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Quick question

How bad d'you think it is that I don't really feel like adding the bishop who confirmed me, and has been the only bishop I've ever known in my life ever, as a friend on facebook?

In other news, I've found Sherlock fanfic and my life has been made infinitely better for it.

Good day, dear readers
Until Next Time,

Sunday, June 19, 2011

It HAS been a while, hasn't it?

To all those who are fathers or who have fathers, I wish you all a happy Father's Day!

Now to business.

I have been a member of an online dating site for a few weeks now, and I have been chatting with this young man, DS, not to be confused with DM, because right now DS has no alternate name.  He seems alright, and he waited out a number of weeks before I would give him my number to text, unlike several other guys on this particular site (or any other, I imagine).

So we exchange numbers, and I am to be the one to text first.  So I enter his number into my phone, set him to a contact so I will know with whom I am talking and send him a straightforward text telling him whom I am and from where I know him.

And I'm texted back from someone who apparently loves Gavin and is quite obviously not who I wish to be talking to.  So I apologize, and alert them to the fact that this is problematic.  I go back to the message where DS sent me his number, and I notice there was a bit of a user error in my contacts.  I have mistyped the number.  So I quickly change it and text the correct number this time.

And the wrong number keeps texting me.  They asked what I meant and how old I was.  I merely told them there was a user error and did not address the age question as I do not wish to be predatorized...preyed on...something like that.

And they continued to text me!  They are quite obviously not old enough to be texting anyone, since they have no idea what the word "problematic" means, and they continued to ask how old I was without first telling me their name.

I told them, simply, what problematic means, and I then asked them, concisely, with whom I was speaking.

They haven't texted back yet.  I'm fairly certain I ought to not text them anymore, considering I believe them to be quite young.

However, they did type in full words and not in the usual "text speak" I'm used to seeing from the younger generations...Perhaps my faith in those who will follow after me is not entirely lost yet.

And now for something completely different **Jacked from Monty Python**

We will soon have a guest blogger on here.  GL, or Good Lady, will be writing a bit of a rant which I shall post upon this blog and put out for the world to see!  I imagine it will be a compelling and very persuasive rant on the way life and love are affected by hollywood and the subsequent dramas and romcoms pulled forth from thence.

I used a lot of big words today.  When your mouth hurts from wisdom teeth extraction, you think up all sorts of fantastical words to use.  ESPECIALLY if one of the days during your recovery was spent watching BBC's Sherlock.

Heeeeee Sherlock :)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

After Exams...

I feel way more relaxed now.  Like I can finally breathe and it's all going to be good.

Admittedly, the minor injuries sustained in my car accident (which, every time I describe it to someone in person, I realize exactly how serious it was and could have been) are a bit of a dampener on all of it, but at least I was able to make my exams.

Mostly right now, my scabs itch because they're dry and peel-y looking and I really want to take care of it, but that's probably not a good thing.  My bruises are turning a nasty greenish purple color and they look gnarly.  But again, on the plus side, I'm alive and have nothing worse than some sore spots.

But yes, I brought my scores up to at least Bs in every class that posts grades on Blackboard.  My history teacher doesn't so I have no idea how I did.  I'll find out on the 16th.  Tomorrow, GL is graduating from the community college we attend, so I plan on going to that.  I think in a round about way she's pretty much inviting me to have dinner with her family, because she's giving me all of the information to do so.  The only thing is that I'm really used to needing to be asked and invited outright.  It's kind of funny that she does this kind of thing, asking things in round-about ways, because she gets so irritated when other people do it.  But whatever, if I find out where they're eating, I'll attend dinner as well as the graduation.  I also will probably want to know where, exactly, graduation is.  Because at the moment, I just know around when the time is.

As Dr. Evil might say: "Throw me a frickin' bone here, Scott!"  Geeze, Louise.

Perhaps I'll have another post for you later, or perhaps I'll take a nap.  That worked out well yesterday.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Well that was exciting...

Don't let my cool, calm and collected internet demeanor fool you.  I'm still really hopped up on adrenaline.

You see, I was just involved in a 1 car, several tree-branches accident.  I think I frightened the poor guys working on the road, and I know I scared my parents.  I'm alright, so far.  A little sore and I've got some nasty bruises and scrapes, but nothing seems to be broken or anything.  I'm debating on not going to my other exam though.  I keep crying too, which is actually rather annoying, though completely logical if you think about it.  GL is coming over soon, and I think we'll probably be heading to her place at some point.  Hopefully she won't talk me out of skipping my other exam.  I'd rather not inconvenience any more people than I have to.  I'm already having to make up the one exam tomorrow morning, and we're down a car because I'm pretty sure I totalled my van, and we don't really have a whole lot of free money for this kind of stuff.

I'm really glad I'm not more hurt, considering the damage done to the poor van.

Dear Og, we hardly knew ye.

Actually, I lied, we did know ye, very well these years?  Damn, I thought it was longer than that...

But yes, I've got some really kick-ass bruises on my left arm, a couple scrapes on my hands, and my chin's busted up pretty good, but I don't think anything's really badly hurt.  I hope not, anyway.  I'm trying not to take too many pain killers because I don't want to mask anything getting worse, so I took half my normal dosage and I'm drinking water.

Scared the living daylights out of me.  Obviously someone was watching over me, for which I am eternally grateful.

Nothing exciting ever happened to me for the longest time, now I'd really rather my life go back to normal and boring, please, okay, thank you.

Until Next Time, Dear Reader,

A Whole Weekend

I waited the whole weekend to tell you of my escapades, in order to have a longer (and hopefully more interesting) post for you!

Let's see...The rest of Friday was spent...Well...Where on earth did I leave off?  The room I was in was getting closed, so I'd had to leave.  I waited for dear GL so we could take care of her last few things she needed to do.  I decided not to try and see if my last class of the day was meeting because, really, the chances of anyone showing up for that class, the last class of the last day of the semester, were slim to none.  I've the exam for that class today.  EXTRANEOUS INFORMATION!!

So we headed to her house, but since her toilet was borked, we stopped at the Sheetz so we could go the bathroom one last time.  We ended up seeing her roommate drive into the driveway as we were getting the trashcan, and apparently this same roommate had driven drunk.  I don't know exactly how safe I feel with this, but seeing as how this roommate will not be interacting with me for a very long time, I'll get over it.

GL and Roommate shared a beer while roommate packed up her things to leave for her parents' house for the weekend, I'm assuming so she could have a working toilet, but whatever the reason, it was nice that she was gone.  I'm not really a big fan of her.

Did I mention that at this point the ceiling had come down?  Yeah, that had happened that morning.  Apparently it was the plumber but we didn't know this until Saturday.

So I spent all evening with GL and it was fun.  Then I went home at around...damn I wish my phone would give me dates and times for longer than the day they're sent...Ugh...
Anyway, I went home.  That was the end of Friday.

NOW!  for Saturday, I was awakened at close to ten so I could drive LS to her make-up dance class, and I had forgotten why Mom and Dad weren't around, but I remembered that it was because Dad plays hockey and there was a tournament and Mom wanted to go and watch him play.  So LS and I were left to our own devices for a good portion of the day.  So I took her to dance, had about an hour and a half to myself, then went back out to get her, came back so she could change her clothes, went back out to eat at one of the three Macado's around here (If you don't know what a macado's is, it's ok.  They serve a lot of sandwiches and have lots of strange objects and artefacts everywhere).  After Macado's, we were full of yummy delicious food, but were wanting to do other things, so we went to the little outdoor mall area, shopped at the bookstore, then tried on shoes we can't afford at a shoe-store, and finally ended up at the local smoothie shop.

Generally this would make for a rather boring sounding day, but I helped LS get in contact with a cute boy she likes, and got Mom a smashing Mother's Day present.  All in all very productive.

At this point we were exhausted so we picked up and headed home.  We managed to beat Mom and Dad home by only a few minutes, so we could hide the present but not really do much about wrapping it.  We gave the present to Mom that night with three bows taped to the top.  It was the most amazing StarWars pop-up book.  Seriously.  And then I needed to be She-Ra, princess of Power, so I left to go to GL's house and take care of that.

Except I'm too weak to have done anything, so we waited for her friend CJ (this is actually his name.  I don't know anything else about him except that he likes watching Top Gear) to show up, because he was coming along soon.  We went to Lowe's, and bought all of her Mother's Day presents, then grabbed some Jimmy John's.  We went back to her house, and watched Family Guy and pretended like we didn't have to pee because we really didn't want to have to go into the barn to do it.

We played some video games and FINALLY CJ arrived.  He managed to fix the toilet enough that we could flush it as long as we filled up the tank manually first.  And then we took a shot of tequila each, sat down and listened to Pink Floyd, took another shot of tequila, then watched Finding Nemo.  By the end of Nemo I was tired and sober and ready to go home.  So, after making sure I was able to get home, I left.  I'm safe, I swear.

I got home at around one fifteen, and went to bed, sleeping soundly until nine fifteen, when, for no reason at all, I was completely awake and well-rested and ready to go.  And so Dad and I left for our church and Mom and LS went to their church.

We went out for lunch at the local Chinese buffet, then we pretty much made Mom play video games and watch tv the rest of the day.

I had decided to make pretty art, so I was in the middle of that when Dad says I needed to go see where my cat was.

This, my dear reader, is where the story gets interesting.  If you've stuck with me this long, this is kind of worth it.

LS's dog had chased Kitty up a tree.  Not just any tree, either.  This tree was a) outside of our fence line, b) had a ladder of unknown vines crawling up it, c) looked like all the branches were going to fall off, and d) had no other way down.

I, of course, being the caring and compassionate owner I am, go over to see if Kitty really is stuck or if she's just not really wanting to get out of the tree.

From all appearances, in my defence, she looked stuck.  Not stuck-stuck but unable to get down for fear of something else.  I decide to talk her through it, since it looks like she's scared of how high up she is.  So I'm standing at the back of our yard, talking to my cat and trying to tell her to jump out of the tree, while she sits there and meows at me incessantly and Dad stands back and laughs, throwing in unhelpful comments whenever he can.

After many...many failed attempts, Kitty finally managed to backwards climb her way down, and as soon as she managed to get within our yard again, idiot dog chased her.  Again and again.  And I couldn't save the Kitty because we have no idea what kind of vines those were and if they'll make my skin itch. :/

I was very annoyed with idiot dog.  Dad just kept making fun of me for thinking Kitty needed saving, but for all looks and purposes, she seemed stuck and unable to get down.

So in the end, either my cat is an idiot with a fear of heights, or a manipulative and conniving Kitty.  Either is completely possible.  She's proved her idiocy in other ways before this particular incident, but it's also true that she's a cat and thus is by nature manipulative and conniving.

In any case, I rode with Dad and LS while LS drove to the local grocer to buy fried chicken, potato wedges and macaroni and cheese for dinner.  Then we watched a Good Eats, I went back upstairs to put the finishing touches on my pretty drawing, and then came down while they were starting StarWars and eating carrot cake.  I stayed for a good portion of the movie, but left as soon as Luke had reached the Dagoba system because I have exams today.  One at 1 and the other at 3:30.

I'm not looking forward to either, really, but I dislike the first more than the second.

Until next time, Dear Reader,

Friday, May 6, 2011

Three Posts in One Day

Aren't you lucky?  I've got more time on my hands than I know what to do with.  I never know how to handle myself when this happens.

I figure I'll explain my friends' "names" for future reference for both myself and for you people.

My best friend, GL stands for Good Lady, as in The Good Lady Such-in-such.  Because she is a wonderful, classy person who is a good lady.  She's only a few years older than I am, being almost 22.  She's fantastic and I love her and I spend all my time with her, so you'll probably hear about her a lot.

My former-best friend, who I've heretofore referred to as my-at-the-time-best friend and other such names, will be referred to as RF for Rather Fake.  Because despite all appearances, she can be.  Quick note, these names happen to coincide with their real initials.  It's kind of strange how it happened to work out like that.

The young man I told you about earlier is NT for Not Totally reffering to how he's not totally the best friend I thought he was, or Not totally straight, or not totally faithful, not totally etc.  I hope this covers most of it.

Another fellow, whom I have spoken of in a previous post I will refer to DM.  Douchebag to the Max.  I hope that needs no further explaination.  It could also stand for Dumb Mistake.

The third fellow I may speak of, potentially, will be reffered to as FJ.  For Foking Juck.  Which I hope you will be able to read between the lines of and see it for what I really mean to write it as.  Any questions should be posted as comments to be reviewed at a later date.

My younger sister will heretofore be referred to as LS for Little Sister, even though she has a couple inches on me and is STILL GROWING I SWEAR.

Mom and Dad will be refferred to as thusly.

Grandparents will have their allotted pseudonyms.

I think that covers most of it.  Any others will be brought up when the time comes, assuming I know their initials, anyway.

How come everything works out the right way like that?  I totally wasn't planning on it.  It was really kind of strange when I realized what was happening.

Well, here I am.  I finished with the rough outline of the people I deal with the most, emotionally.  AH! Fudge, I forgot one.

MB for Major Butthead.  He was the guy before DM that I had a rather whirlwind long-distance romance with.  That was a huge mistake.  Luckily it's not anymore.  I haven't spoken to him in a couple of years...I de-friended him on facebook, too...hmmmm....

FJ happens to be at the computer terminal next to mine.  I didn't realize who it was until after I sat down.  Luckily I'm at the terminal across the doorway from him, so it's not a big deal, but still...

This is probably the main reason that I even started this post the way it went.

It's very distracting to be sitting at a computer next to a window.  People are standing outside and I'm very intrigued, but they can see me as well as I can see them, if not better, so it would be strange to stare.  So I only look when they move and it catches my attention again.  Unfortunately they're now in my range of perifferal vison and one of them is antsy.  So I really have to try not to look.

I may have failed one of my classes this semester.  I hope not.  I hope doing the exam will make up for it...

I don't think it will though.  I'll be lucky if I can pass it with a D.  I hate accounting.  It was all well and good when it was just filling in basic journal entries and T accounts.  But then they added in shit like taxes and inventories and all sorts of BS...It just made it way more complicated than I could handle.  I really don't want to have to do the exam, but I think I have to.

I have a strange thing with doing poorly in classes.  I don't really care as long as I pass, but my parents insist on me getting close to perfect grades.  Which is nigh on impossible, honestly.  I get it, of course.  They are paying for my education.  But still, they didn't do well in college.  Hell, dad got suspended for a year and mom had to quit because she got pregnant.  At least neither of those things have happened to me, and I don't think they ever will.  I'm a little to smart for that.

I don't know how they had an active social life, were able to go to classes and learn shit, and sleep at the same time.  I don't think it's possible, so I'm assuming something from my equation is missing.  So next time I sign up for classes, it's going to be two, three at most, and I'm going to focus on work and sleep because my social life and I will be moving in together.

Oh god, I'm never going to get through this.

The room is getting closed up.  I figure I should probably go now.

Until Next Time, Dear Reader,

Another Day, Another Post

I know I posted once already today, but, hey, more for you, right?

I've got a little less than an hour before I have to be anywhere right now, so I'm just going to type until then.  This is what I used to do when I would send email to myself.  I think of it as a type of writing practice.  I really wanted to get a soda, but I forgot before I got to a computer station.  I don't really feel comfortable leaving my things out in the open, nor a computer free.  They get taken quickly if you're not careful, you know.  Also, so do your things.

I suppose I could tell you a witty story of my childhood, or a memory from recently, but honestly, my memory only goes back about as far as I've been posting, as far as accuracy goes, and I'm fairly certain you all won't care too much.  I think the oldest story I have given you, and will give you, is my failed attempt at relationships in the year of my 17th birthday.  Spring birthdays confuse the crap out of me, and I have one, so if you ever see me refer to myself as an age that doesn't match up to what I've told you previously, it's because I have a sucky memory and a spring birthday.

I'd gotten to the point last semester where I would start writing stories and outlines for stories because I'd run out of interesting things to tell myself.  But now I'm talking to a whole new audience.

You know, I had a friend once who shared with me the fact that he secretly liked the cock.  And I'm not talking about chickens and roosters, either.  We haven't really spoken since I tipsy-texted him at IHOP after my first college party.  I think my best friend offended him a bit.  But he may have deserved it.  He's kind of been screwing me over relationship wise for a long time.

You see, dear readers, even though I know you don't much care for my romantic exploits, I'm going to tell you about this boy anway.  I have time and if you're still reading, so do you.  Anyway, this boy and I, we go back all the way to my freshman year of high--

Ehh...bit longer than that, actually, but freshman year of "high school" is kind of a good starting point.  Moving on.  Our churches got together during the summer for Vacation Bible School (hereby abreviated as VBS) and so we'd see each other regularly during those periods.  Finally in this, my freshman year of high school, we finally exchanged IM addresses.

We then started communicating quite frequently, for long periods of time.  Several hours we would have conversations, almost every night, even into the actual school year.  We told each other things we hadn't told anyone outside of the internet.  Like how he likes the cock and how I like reading slash fanfiction.  Admittedly, I gave mine away first, which is how he brought up the subject of his, but irrelevant.

So, he was potentially part-fay, but he still liked girls.  And I couldn't understand why he hadn't asked me out yet.  He was cute, I was almost there, he liked to talk to me, I liked to talk to him, it seemed like it would work.

Then he got a girlfriend.  And he still chatted with me very frequently.  Even to the point where we would, ah, "cyber" I believe is the term.  And then he broke up with his girlfriend, and I thought for sure he would ask me out then.  No, instead he got another girlfriend.  Same deal as last time.  And then he started dating my at-the-time-best friend.  And it looked pretty serious.  Realize, this is over a period of about two years or so.  He starts dating this friend of mine at the end of the semester right before he went off to college.

And I was just waiting for it to end like the others had, because it was the same. damn. deal. as all the other times.  We still chatted a lot, and we still would sext and cyber.  Mostly with me playing the male lead as he played the female lead, but again, irrelevant. 

And the relationship just kept going.

And going.

And going.  They never broke up.  I couldn't fathom it.  How could this one have lasted where all the others failed?  I was still the same, he was still the same.  The only difference was the girl.  And honestly, I think I know why she's different.  She's a little...ah...controlling and manipulative and I really don't know how I stayed friends with her for so long.  I figure he hasn't left because he doesn't know what she's really like since he's away at school out of state, even though they've been friends and have dated for a while.

When he left for college and they were still together, I figured it was the end of that, and I stopped initiating contact.

Soon after, he started texting and IMing again.  And so it continued for a year or so more.  And then, finally, I put my foot down one evening while with my best friend (who, in order to disperse confusion, I'm going to refer to as GL, okay?).  I was with her and I think we were playing a video game, or she was, or we were watching something on the tv?  I don't remember, but he (I'm going to name him something too, like DB or something :D  Actually, no I lie, that's someone else.  He can be...NT)  was texting and it was going the same way it always does if we text consistently for longer than an hour.  Down that road.  And I wasn't going to do it.  I felt bad for letting him do this to my once best friend, and I didn't like doing it if I wasn't going to ever see any payup for it.  If he wasn't going to ever date me (and at this point, it's definitely not looking good for that) then I didn't want any part in this.  So I said no.  And he kind of left it at that, but he definitely wasn't happy about it.

So a few weeks later, I went to my first college party.  It was a Grain party with the Tubas.  Supposedly it gets crazy, but we (meaning myself and GL, stands for Good Lady as in the title of Lady such-in-such) left before it could get insane.  So we went to IHOP for some food.  I initiated contact for the first time in two years.  I never text first, but that night I did.  And I wasn't completely sober, either.  And apparently GL had tried to send him a message on facebook and he'd ignored it because he says he didn't know who she was and why she was sending him a message.  She claimed it was bull and stole my phone to text him more.

He got kind of upset and I tried to diffuse the situation when I got my phone back.  But I was also kind of miffed at him because he was quite obviously lying to both of us, and he couldn't admit it.

I haven't heard from him since.

I guess maybe it was my fault for letting it happen.  I was just so sure that something would come of it, that when I realized it never would, I was stuck in a habit of going along with it.

I suppose we'll never hear the rest of the story between Captain Me and the wench NT.  But I think I'm okay with that, after all.

If you've stuck around this long, I give you a lot of credit.  I know I'm tedious and I have a tendency to ramble.  I know it's hard to understand where I'm going with a story, mostly because I don't know where I'm going when I start it.

But thanks for reading anyway.  I really do appreciate it.

If you say "TL;DR," that's cool.  Maybe one day I will have hilarious drawings to illustrate my stories and you will read them with a fervor you've never known before.

Or you'll just skip to the end and read the last bit.  That's cool too.

Until Next Time, Dear Reader,

My life has gone from normal to kind of crazy

I love my best friend.  She's fantastic.

That being said, whenever I'm with her, something kind of crazy always happens.  I'm not entirely sure why.

I bring this up because I was over at her place last night.  We'd been hanging out in her room since the living room was being occupied by her roommate and the roommate's study-buddy.  It was a  normal evening otherwise.

All of the sudden, at around ten or ten-thirty, the roommate comes upstairs and says that there is a leak in the ceiling.  Downstairs.  They had heard it drip and gotten a bowl for it, but they didn't quite know what the source was.

We went downstairs to see what was going on.  There was a buckled tile on the ceiling that looked like it was damn near ready to pop.  I kept my distance, of course, because who knows what it would do.

The two people who actually live in the house checked out the bathroom to see what might be going on.  Apparently there had been a little bit of a leak around the toilet for a really long time, and now it seemed the water had saturated the wood in the area, making it buckle and drip and sink a little bit as well.  You could kind of see the indent around the toilet.  Considering we (meaning my friend and I specifically) figured it wasn't a pool of water that was waiting to just spew out, I figured the toilet was just going to fall through the ceiling onto our heads.  No one took my concerns seriously.

I understand, when you tell someone their toilet could fall through their ceiling, it's kind of outlandish and brings up many ideas of a toilet just coming through like there's nothing attached to it and landing on the floor like nothing happened.  I realize that's not what was going to happen.  I'm a bit smarter than some people give me credit for.  But I did fear that with the wood being weak, and becoming more weakened by the fact that my friend's roommate wanted to poke a hole in the ceiling, that the floor would give way underneath the toilet and it would hang from the plumbing down into the tack room.  It would have been messy and dusty and spew-y with water.

Luckily this didn't happen, but it does mean that they have no bathroom for the time being because they don't want to make the problem worse.  So I've been updated this morning, as I was in the middle of writing this, that the ceiling where it was wet has been...ah...somehow removed.  It doesn't appear that it did so of its own accord, so we're assuming their landlord did it at some point.  However, it's still not a good thing because how was the water getting there in the first place?  I'm no plumber, but I'm pretty sure water in your ceiling under your toilet means there's a leak and that you should fix it.

Just saying.

But on the plus side, the roommate is leaving in a week or so, and my friend is moving...ah...a little later than that, unfortunately, but hopefully there will be a place for her to stay around here so that she can continue working and such until she's able to move into our new place.

God, I hope nothing like this happens in our new place.  That would just be really inconvenient.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Yesterday and today

Well, despite my nerves, yesterday's interview went off without a hitch.  The only problem I ran into was that we went a little later than I would have liked, but I managed to get out with enough time to change my clothes while driving, and get into the classroom with five minutes to spare.  The only reason it was as nerve wracking as I made it out to be is that I had a test in that class.

Everything else went all hunky dory.  I learned I'm not quite the beast at the stock market as I thought I was, hung out with my best friend, loved the fact that I now can have-a-car-of-my-very-own all day on Wednesdays, and learned that Wednesdays can be one of the better days of the week.

There was a time, however when Wednesdays were the bane of my existence.  It all started about three years ago, at the end of May...

I'd been hanging out with the same group of people since the beginning of high school (well, when they were in high school anyway. I was homeschooled and in the same grades, but whatever, IRRELEVANT INFO), and so we'd gotten relatively close.  Looking back now it was barely even "regular friends."  It was far to close to acquaintances.  BESIDE THE POINT!!

My sister and my at-the-time best friend were in the same dance recital, so everyone showed up.  I went over during intermission to talk with a few of them and got a compliment on my necklace from a guy who I'm sure can see right down my shirt when looking at any necklace I wear when we're both standing.

A couple of days later, me and the self-same guy were "dating."  It was unofficial at best, mostly we would hang out and watch movies together.  Our first "real" date was us going to a drive in movie to see Land of the Lost, which we saw again on our second "real" date, which was a double date with another friend of mine and her at-the-time boyfriend.

(Hey, guess what?  This is a mystery story!  Find all the clues to tell you what part of this was a bad idea.  HINT:  ALL OF IT)

Sue me, I was sixteen, dumb and out of a two-week-long relationship that had begun at a weekend conference thing, was kicked off by a couple of marriage proposals over the phone, with a guy I could barely hear, let alone understand, and ended over text messaging.  I'm sure everyone's made those kinds of mistakes, right?

Ah, yeah, didn't think so...sunova-

Anyway, getting back on topic:

Three of our pseudo dates in, we were kissing, and making out, and ewww.  He made me pay attention to all the movies he chose, but if I chose a movie, all bets were off and he didn't pay any attention.

We broke up three weeks in.  His choice.  He was going back to his at the time ex-girlfriend.  They lasted almost a year after that.

We broke up on a Wednesday.  And ever since that relationship, all the way until I went to Louisiana last summer, Wednesdays were hell.  I couldn't do anything fun on a Wednesday, or it would all go to shit.

It was very painful and annoying and frustrating.

But, like I said, after two years, it went away and I was able to function during Wednesdays, even come to enjoy them most times.

Yesterday, like I said, was amazing.

Today however, has not started off so well.  My mother is upset for some reason, and, as the saying goes, if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

For now, I must fill our recycled water bottles to put in the fridge when we wish to have them.  Until Next Time, Dear Reader.


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I find myself with a lot of nervous energy this morning

Also, with about fifteen minutes before I have to leave.

So, you guys get a little post.  Isn't that swell?

I hate having to look nice for things.  It's a shame that I'm being interviewed for a job that requires it.  I dislike wearing skirts because I don't like my ankle area.  I like slacks, but I hate the shirts I have because I feel like they make me look like a butch lesbian.  That isn't quite the vibe I'd prefer to give off.

Also, my hair is refusing to make itself do pretty things, so I'm forced to interact with it, which just makes it all different kinds of ridiculous.  I have to wear makeup, even though I'm completely comfortable with how my face looks without the make-up, I have to pretend I know what I'm doing and that I'm not a thirteen-year-old-with-her-first make-up-kit on the inside.  It's all more stressful than the interview would be without all of this.

Honestly, I don't see why they don't hold casual interviews.  I think it would be a better way to see who you're hiring.  You say, "Come in whatever you would wear if today were just another day."  Then when they get their in the jeans and band-tee-shirt, you ask them why they wore what they did, what prompted their decision.  You then learn about their daily life and who they are as a person.  You know their taste in music, their plans for the rest of the day, their interests, their style-sense.  Whether or not they really put make-up on and wear their hair down.

I should be an interviewer.  I think I would rock at it.  You get them there in their wild day-clothes, tell them that usually they would have to dress up, make sure they like/can do that, and then, have a second interview where you test them on their ability to look nice.  If they really can do what they say they can, go for it.  If not, well, they're just not the right person for this job, and they should look elsewhere.

See?  I'd be awesome.

I'm nervous as shit.  I didn't even know shit could be nervous, but apparently it can be, and I'm as nervous as it.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

And now for something completely different:

I am secretly attractive, I've figured out.

Secretly because no one notices right away.  They wait for something, something they don't tell anyone, and I certainly don't know what it is until after it's been pointed out to me.

You see, I know lots of strange trivia no one cares much about, I also watch fairly unknown shows to most people, I like fast, pretty cars, I know a scary amount of strange facts that rarely does anyone care about it until I spout it off like a teapot boiling (work with me here).

The reason I bring this up is because recently, my life has become inundated with very attractive young men.  And one fluke, but we'll not go into that too far.

One of these young men is coming into town this weekend.  You see, dear reader (I think you're actually plural now, but I'll refer to each of you individually), I have only met this poor young man once before, when I was with my best friend in her hometown.  We met up with him to go to a dollar theatre for a movie none of us really cared too much about because the one we really had wanted to see was sold out.  I met him at his house, where he happened to be watching a favorite show of mine.

This show is called Top Gear and while they have an American version now, the British (or original) version is MUCH better.  He was watching, and rightly so, the Brit version.  Luckily it was one I'd seen parts of, so I wasn't too torn up about not being able to finish it.  But my friend had never seen this show and was terribly confused.  I figured this young man wouldn't be able to properly explain the situation to my friend, so I went ahead and gave her the rundown.

She said he looked at her and his jaw dropped open.  He asked how I knew all of that and I told him it was one of my favorite shows and that my parents liked watching it.  My friend claims it was at that moment he fell a little in love with me.

So you see, I'm secretly attractive.  He hadn't found me very interesting until I explained the show to our mutual friend, and suddenly I was the sexiest thing with legs.

Another example would be of a young man whom I'm trying to dissuade from liking me.  You see, I have a strange idea of what "attractive" is, most times.  He fit into that, so in the beginning, I was all for him talking to me.  And then when he did, he started revealing he was more of a dork than I am really willing to get involved with.  Not to mention that anything I had a  positive opinion on, he had a negative opinion on.  I couldn't understand why, then, he thought we had similar interests.  So I tried pulling away gently and politely.  I tried having my friend -- who has an honesty problem and can be kind of a bitch to people she doesn't really like, and neither of us liked him much at this point -- give him a mean let down.  He has not taken the hint very well.

But again, it's because I am secretly a big dork that he's attracted to me.  I shared too much of my dorkiness and he got too bold.  I was emboldened by Top Gear Man, and didn't realize that there were dorks out there who would be much more dorky than myself, more than I could, or would want to handle.

I'm currently waiting for the young men in the band at church to fall for me.  I just need to be bolder about speaking in front of them so I can share a minor dorky tid-bit about myself and they, too, will suddenly fall around me like flies.

In other words, as Spiderman's aunt told him, "With great power comes great responsibility."  I must use my powers of secret-attractiveness very wisely, and only for the greater good.

Till next time, dear reader,

Monday, May 2, 2011

Road Workers Think I'm Crazy and also God's Designs

Three posts in one day?  I just have a lot to say and too much time to do it.

Driving home I got onto the second to last road home, but there were people painting the newly paved road.  They were making their way down the road, but I was at a stop sign with no one there to tell me if it was safe but the people who were behind the truck blocking my view.  I gave a thumbs up to one of the fellows and a questioning look, and he waved me on.  As I passed, I saw a good portion of them laughing.  I'm fairly certain they were laughing at me.

The thumbs up made sense to me.  I can't imagine what else I could have done to make sure all of them were safe and that it was O.K. for me to cross their spray-painted line down the middle of the road.

Why is it whenever I'm concerned about their safety, the road workers either roll their eyes and look annoyed or just laugh?  I'm legitimately concerned about their wellbeing and they apparently are not.  It's just common courtesy.  I could be a complete asshole about passing them, squealing my tires, flipping them off and looking annoyed, but no.  Instead I ask if it's safe for me to go on ahead, make sure I'm going a safe speed around them, keep up with traffic and stay safe distances away from all the other things on the road that are not me.  I don't see anything wrong with that, do you?

In other news, I do a lot of thinking in my minivan.  Mostly inane things that have no purpose being thought except to fill blank space.

But today I had a thought that simply must be shared:

Why did God give humans butt-cheeks?  What purpose do they serve?

I google searched it.  It resulted in mostly a cushion, a way to muffle farts, and a result from the fact that humans walk upright and no other animals do, therefore no other animals have buttcheeks.

In which case, my musing over the issue has become null and void.

But in the car it was quite amusing to get bent out of shape about it.

Maaaaan, the internet can be kind of a buzz kill sometimes.

Till next time, dear reader (I believe you're still singular after today)

A Tale of Two Postings

This is very exciting, dear reader.  I've posted twice!  In one day!

I find myself with spare time between classes today, so I write instead.  This is a much better use of my time than, say, what I was doing last semester when I had two hours free between classes and emailed myself constantly.  Same concept, different media and I don't get double emailed.  A Win-Win situation, I believe is the term.

I have this shirt, see.  It's a generic Outer Banks, NC shirt, except that it reads "Hello, my name is Rodger and I will be flogging you today" on the back.  This is fairly important.

Throughout the day, I periodically forget what shirt it is that I'm wearing.  Today is one of those days.  So I went out to get McDonalds, and instead of drive thru, I figured what would be the harm in going into the store and getting it to go that way.

After I ordered, I went around the side to get my soda, and all of the sudden there is loud laughter from behind me.  I figure someone had shared a joke with someone else and was being very merry about it, but since I am a curious kitty cat, I turned to see what all the ruckus was about.  The man standing behind me had at this point gone around me the other way and said "Great shirt!"  I was confused and befuddled and anything else that means I had no idea what was going on.  He smiled at me and said, "I needed a laugh, that is a great shirt!"  I thanked him and said it was my pleasure to make him laugh.

I feel really good about myself now.  I gave a laugh and a smile to someone who needed it.

So, to you, older-than-I-am gentleman who patroned the McDonalds in Dublin today,

You're welcome.  I don't know why you needed a laugh, but I'm glad I could help you out.

Your friendly neighborhood blogger,

To the one person who reads this

Hi.  I've noticed you're the only person reading this.  I'm very flattered with the fact that you check back here daily.  You make me feel very appreciated, even though these posts are rarely as entertaining as I want them to be.

In any case to an actual post:

Where were you when you heard about Osama Bin Laden dying, and how did you feel?

Well I found out this morning when I looked at my facebook and everyone I knew had posted on it except for one of the girls I'm moving in with next semester, who was complaining about the fact that there was something of a riot on the school's campus last night over the ordeal.  At first I felt like the US had finally been vindicated for something.

And then I got to thinking, isn't it sad that he died before realizing that what he had done was wrong?  So now I just feel really sad about the whole thing, besides the fact that it's just going to be one more life lost in this whole battle.

I'm really overthinking this, aren't I?  Let's go back to the patriotic celebration, shall we?


Oh, shit, wrong celebration.  My bad.

Have a wonderful day, person who reads this.  May you celebrate with friends.