It's been a long week.
I'm starting to notice a theme with Thanksgiving...I think I've figured out why the Europeans don't celebrate...
(Shh, I know it's because the Americans went through their teenager stage and thought Mother England and Father France were stupidheads, and decided to defect/rebel. That's not important right now. Why am I even talking about this? I should stop!)
Regardless, this is not what I came back to talk about.
I'm reaching a stage in my life where change is imminent. All goes according to plan, I'm graduating after spring semester.
I'll be getting a third job to fill in the time gap and so I can finally quit the one job that has started to suck even worse and then I'll get another third job, so I can earn some mulah because I have plans.
Or rather, I will, shortly here. If I stick to my guns and I don't chicken out.
I've been trying to plan it this evening, whenever the mood strikes me to research stuff, in between funny videos of cats on youtube, and my lingering over anger at certain events that have been successfully handled, but I'm still kind of pissed off. And other shit, too, because I can't ever just have a few things going on, I have to have a full on crisis ALWAYS.
Okay, I'm exaggerating. But that's how it FEELS and I'm a whiney girl and that's what I'm going to do. Were I 21 or better at extortion, I'd have some wine to go with it, but as it is, I'm wimping out and waiting until my birthday.
Also, I have work in the morning, and you all probably won't read this until I'm at work already (mostly because I'm thinking of scheduling this to come out tomorrow morning rather than tonight).
However, that is beside the point.
What I'm really trying to get at is that I'm making big plans that I hope to enact in hopefully a year or so...well okay, just over a year, because it'll be more like a year from when my lease ends, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
I don't even know why I'm really writing about this, since I really don't have anything concrete, I don't really want to let people know what it is I'm planning on doing until I have things set up already, and honestly, I don't even know if I'm going to go through with it at this point.
I. DO. NOT. WANT. ENCOURAGEMENT.
If I can't do this by myself without my own encouragement, what's the goddamn point?
I'm growing up. I'm growing a fucking backbone. I'm becoming who I want to be and I'm going to start not caring what people think about that.
I say that tonight, and by tomorrow afternoon I'll be a puddle of "oh god why me why wont anyone liiiiiiiiiiiiiike me" that I usually end up being after work.
And I've decided...I've decided I'm not ready for a number of certain things, just yet. When it's time for me to own a pet and have a boyfriend, I'll be financially stable, I'll like myself more than 40% of the time, and I will have my shit straight.
And maybe, just maybe, I'll be a little more worldly. Maybe I'll be stronger. Maybe I'll be smarter. Maybe I'll be self-assured and confident.
But at this point, I'm not ready to take care of anyone else but myself. I don't have the funds to care for a pet, and keep it safe and happy and well-loved. And I don't have enough love for myself to give to another person at this point in time.
Because I think I've finally figured it out. After hours on Pinterest, looking at inspirational, and mostly stupidly silly and irreverent quotes, I've figured out the secret to life. You have to love who you are, love what you do, and most of all not be afraid to be yourself in order to love someone else.
And I'm still carrying around a lot of baggage I just shouldn't even have. It's everyone else's. It's not even MINE. And I'm the one carrying it. Why do I continue to carry it, you may ask? I have no fucking clue. So I'm going to take it to lost and found, I'm going to drop it off, I'm going to turn around and I'm NOT. FUCKING. LOOKING. BACK.
I imagine this will end the embargo on my radio silence. But I mean, when was I ever good at posting regularly?
*sigh* And I don't think I'm going to sleep through tonight either.
Until next time, dear Readers,
Monday, November 19, 2012
I promise I'm not going to go over there, they're, and their any more. Seriously, if people haven't learnt by now, they're not going to. Same with your and you're.
don't make an inappropriate comment, don't make an inappropriate comment, don't make an inappropriate comment...
No, what I have an issue with is something small, simple, and easily overlooked by most. Probably why most people don't notice or care when it gets misspelled.
It's the difference between breath and breathe.
Just one extra "e" on the end makes a WORLD of difference. The difference between taking a breath and being able to breathe.
Do you catch my drift?
(okay, this is coming from the girl who can't say "draught" as "draft." and constantly wants to say it as drought, but with an ah instead of a oh sound. I also say it geo-graphy, photo-graphy and bio-graphy. Make fun of me all you want but at least I can breathe with one breath, as opposed to being able to breath with one breathe, which makes no gorram sense whatsoever)
And lightning and lightening. I know in some areas lightning, the phenomenon of electricity creating sparks and light in the sky is SAID with the extra syllable (like athelete, when really, there's just no extra e in between), but one is lightning and one is the lightening of the sky in the case of lightning.
And athelete just isn't a word whatsoever. Athlete! Athlete! Think Mathlete without the M! (Mathlete isn't a word either, but for whatever reason, Mathletes are not called mathaletes or matheletes, probably because they are not athletes who say it athelete to sound smarter, when it just makes them sound dumb.)
Ugh, and saying "author" like "Arthur." It's another one of those area things (lightening, I'm looking at you), but one is the name of the person who wrote the book and one is just a name. Add the "u", it won't kill you, and it will help me realize you're not talking about Arthurian legend, and/or Mr. Weasley, and instead you're talking about Sir Thomas Mallory or J.K. Rowling.
But I was here to talk about breath and breathe, and it ended up being faster than I intended...
Sorry, I've had a whole day off, and spent it saving some of my favorite fan fictions to text documents so I can read them when the internet is off or down or I just don't have it, and I noticed the breath/breathe thing, and I remembered I dislike it. And then other things occurred to me while I was writing. It's tough living my life.
Okay, back to radio silence.
Until next time, dear readers
Posted by Michelle at 7:24 PM