Thursday, September 22, 2011

Of Shoes and Ships and Ceiling Wax...

Of cabbages and kings...

Yes I know, Alice.  Thank you :)

My genetic seasonal agoraphobia has kicked in a little early this year.  Normally I don't see it until it starts getting dark around 6 or so.  I got it from my mother, who finds it difficult to leave the house in the evenings when it's dark and cold.  Normally this isn't an issue, since I rarely leave the house in the evenings anyway.  However, since I've signed myself up for a night class this semester, it's become something of an issue.

I've been having some strange dreams recently.  I think they're mostly strange because they're super-long, epic-story-types and that I remember them.

Last night there was magic and dragon-men and vampires and sex and other things that don't really make sense when itemized like this, but I remember, very vividly, being in a bathroom at one point (one of those gas station type deals with just the toilet and the sink), and that I needed to go out into the hall to face the dragon that was out there but I was fucking TERRIFIED of doing so, so I pressed myself up against the door and pretended to not exist, which didn't fool the dragon.  He tapped on the door with his tail (don't ask me how I know, I just do) and I was like "Someone's in here!"  Like he was just asking to use the toilet.  At some point I left the bathroom and he was gorgeous and he wasn't bad or mean or evil or anything I'd been led to believe up until that point about dragon men.  And then of course, he held me close and was very safe and comforting and I'm pretty sure it was at about this point in the dream that I realized that in real life I was sleeping.  I continued dreaming of course, but it was a weird state of "oh yeah, I'm not actually awake.  That's fine then."

The night before was of royalty and castles and locking people into rooms and love and forbidden love, and churches and kings and rollercoasters and a confessional and...yeah.  Idk, apparently I am very, very fantastical when I dream.  Also, romance novel-y.

It's hard for me to explain my dreams when I have them and I remember them.  Because I can only visually remember them and I can't come up with the words to describe what's happening in my dreams.  I feel like I'm describing a Picasso to a blind man.  He's never going to understand because I'm not sure it really even makes sense to me.  To him, I'm crazy and to me, he's just not in my head so he won't ever understand.

Have you ever described a dream to someone and halfway through your description, you realize you're retarded?

Yeah, I feel like that about now.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers,

Saturday, September 10, 2011

What do you do when...

Your roommates leave their pets outside on a hot day?  I really wish I didn't have to know.

I want to bring them in, but GL and I have been told to just leave them where they are when their owners leave because they'll be back soon (ish).  Soon by their standards is not soon by ours.

Especially on hot days like today.  I don't really even care that they have fleas or anything.  One of them is a chihuahua and is on a line that just barely reaches shade.  I had to BRING THEM water, because it wasn't already put out there with them.

I just don't understand how people can think this is OK.  This is NOT okay.  Funny thing is, if they saw animals being treated like this on a TV show, they would think "how cruel are those owners?" and immediately want to save them.

It's the SAME. GODDAMN. THING.  You cannot just leave your dogs outside, no matter for how long you're gone, without giving them water or some sort of shelter if it rains or gets too hot.


I'm just...I'm thisclose to bringing them inside anyway, because it breaks my fucking heart to see them not being taken care of like they need to be.

Fuck...I'm gonna cry now...

This is so goddamn frustrating.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Already, Today is Looking Up

Yes, I realize it's a little late in the day to be posting something with that sort of title, but I couldn't think of another way to put how today has gone.

Today is Wednesday, and, as I have informed you previously, usually Wednesdays kick my ass.  All over the place.

The fact that I have been chatted up by a serial tickler on a dating website and got to class without too much incident, today is still one of my better Wednesdays.

It has occurred to me, over the past couple of Wednesdays, that the days will indeed be getting shorter as the seasons march onwards, and that the parkinglot that I am required to park in for this class only as a few lightposts, half of which are on the far side of the lot, and the ones closest to the building are already crowded around by people who aren't even sticking around until dark.  As a young woman, when I leave class, I'm positively terrified that someone's going to jump out from behind a parked car and attack me.  Since I'm a relatively shy person, I'm almost more terrified to ask someone to walk me to my car (preferably an intimidating looking man, but any sort of buddy will do in the buddy-system).  Hopefully someone will notice that I usually leave the building alone in the dark and will take pity on me and start walking me to my car just out of niceness and not because I'm scared of what's in the dark.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers

Sunday, September 4, 2011

I Look Like A Pirate Right Now.

And I thought you guys should know.

I'm not sure if it's the fact that my hair is kind of messy and I'm wearing earrings or if I'm always this much of a badass and I just don't usually notice it.

It's probably the fact that I'm always a badass, actually.  You know, now that I think of it and all.

I hope that's not intimidating for any of you.  Really, despite the badassery over here, I'm a nice person! I swear!

But in all seriousness, I could totally kick your ass.  You know, if I wanted to.

It's just the earrings, don't worry.  I haven't taken them out yet, because I like feeling like a badass, curled up in my bed and reading Star Trek porn on the internet.  But yeah, thought you guys'd be interested in knowing that I'm actually kind of really fucking cool.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers

Friday, September 2, 2011

Why Must The Girl Always Be The Bad Guy?


No really.  Please, let me know if you have the answer.  Why must we always be "the bitch?" Or "the dirty ho-bag."  Why are we always painted as the villain?  Why is this the social norm?

Why can't I have been doing something nice, something thoughtful, something not self-centered for once?  Why can't I be a fish out of water in a new situation that I realize I don't want to be in, and I try and fix it so as not to hurt him?

Why can't we just assume people are doing it for good reasons?  Why must it always be a bad thing that people don't work out as a couple?

Why should my best friend have to break up with her boyfriend because he doesn't treat her right, and have to be painted as the crazy bitch who broke up with him via text because he wouldn't wake up because he was sick?

Why should I have to be painted as someone with commitment issues when all I was doing was realizing that I wasn't as attracted to the guy as I wanted to be, but since he was a nice guy, I didn't want to lead him on?


Why is it that when these things happen, us girls sit and cry over the issue, because we're "the bad guys" and really, it should be the GUYS who are crying over it.  We shouldn't have to worry about what he's going to tell his friends about us.  We shouldn't have to stay in a relationship so he can break up with us when he finally reaches the same page.

I fucking hate our society right now.  This is ridiculous.  It shouldn't be like this.  And yet, I find more and more that it is, and that I can't change it alone.

We need to start assuming people are doing things for the right reasons, and not for the wrong ones.

Please.  Please, me with this, because I can't stand the thought of another girl out there who is being painted as some crazy scary person because she wants to do the right thing in the relationship and end it.  It's not worth it.

It's not.

Until next time,

So, I've Been Having Spontaneous Nose Bleeds This Week...

Yes, Spontaneous Nose Bleeds.

You should know a few things about me.  A) I don't have nose bleeds that often, and b) they've become more frequent as of late.

It all started last summer, while I was in the sunny state of Louisiana.  Which is not a smart idea, if you're thinking about it.  Louisiana is HOT already, and going during the warmest part of the year is not as much fun as you think it's going to be.  I loved the experience, but I'm also a masochist, so we know what that tells you.

Anways, so while I was down there, at one point during my stay I suddenly had a teeny-tiny nose bleed that I only noticed because I had allergies and was blowing my nose CONSTANTLY.  And whilst doing so, occasionally there would be a teeny-tiny amount of dried blood in my tissue.  I didn't really think much of it, since it was so small.  It was explained to me that the switching from superhothumidwarm to freezingcolddryairconditioning might cause a nose bleed.  I accepted this and everything was fine.

I didn't have another nose bleed until winter time.  I was at school, killing time between classes in the library and I was drawing.  As it was winter, my nose was runny, and had been for some time.  I was unable to locate tissues, and tried my best to sniffle it up.  This, obviously, was not the ideal method of stopping my nose from running, but I was too lazy to get up and catch it anyway (if this joke is lost on you, I'm really sorry).

Anyway, it wasn't until after I'd broken down and used my sleeve to catch my nose drippings (yes, I know, ew.  Don't judge me, I've seen you do it too!) that anything became obviously wrong.  Suddenly, on the drawing I was working on, there was a spot of blood.  And then another and then suddenly I had a gusher and I left my things in the library and ran to the restroom for paper towels to stop the bleeding and to clean up my mess.  Then I made sure someone had some antibacterial wipes to clean up better and I grabbed my belongings and made it over to the security desk to let them know I had a bleeder and they gave me tissues instead and things went much better after I stopped bleeding.

This was also easily explained by the fact that I was going from very cold to rather warm and dry in quick succession.

I didn't have anymore nose bleeds until this past week.

First one was on Wednesday on my way back from class.  I was just driving along, and I had my A/C off, and my window was down and then I got chilly so I rolled the window up and just jammed in my car to the music and didn't change a thing about the temperature.

And suddenly my nose just was very very runny.  Now, I have had a stuffy nose recently, so it's not completely unheard of that your nose could run spontaneously.  Except my nose doesn't normally run that quickly, even when it runs.  And before I knew it it was down my face and very wet and uncomfortable and luckily I had napkins in the car, because otherwise I don't think my hand could have taken it.  There was blood all over the place, except on my car or on my shirt.  Which I guess isn't exactly all over the place, but it sure did feel like it!

Anyway, by the time I got home it was pretty much done.  And everything was fine, it was just a weird spontaneous nose bleed.

And then, last night, while hanging out with the family, like I do every Thursday evening, suddenly it was like my nose was running, but down my throat, and it was gross tasting, and it was weird and I couldn't understand how it was just going down the back of my throat and not out of my nose as well.  So I decided the best course of action would be to blow my nose.  Which made it apparent that I was actually bleeding.

So, luckily I was next to the tissue box and was able to take care of everything.  We're attributing it to the fact that I have a slight anemia problem caused by a lack of iron. Or something like that.  Anyway, fact is, that I need to eat more foods with iron in them and start taking my multivitamins more often.  So that's what I'm going to do and hopefully tonight I will not have a nose bleed.  Because they're not fun.

Until Next Time, Dear Reader