Monday, May 6, 2013

Monday, Rainy Monday

I'm waiting for my study buddy again.  She's at work, and I found one of the only free computers in the hall.  She'll be here shortly, but I'm lazy and don't want to get started on the work until she's here.

That's kind of been the theme of getting my work done this semester. I could, but I really don't want to unless I have to.

In other news, I have found a potential new crush -- We'll call him SZ because up until last night I wasn't entirely sure whether his first initial was S or Z.  It's Z, in case you were wondering. (They aren't even moderately similar names, it's kind of hilarious).

And I kind of feel like that awkward, nerdy teenager again (except for the teenager bit, not entirely off the mark), because I'm like, he's cute, and he pays me a little bit of attention, and we have interesting conversations, and I'm just like...You should like me, I'm cute, and I think you're cute, and you don't think I'm repulsive, and isn't that the basis for almost every relationship when you start out?  It makes me feel a little desperate, I'll be honest with you guys.

We'll see if I don't shoot this one down before it gets off the ground and go from there. 

Also, I met one of my future roommates.  He's a nice guy.  I don't think I'm going to be upset about this decision.  And he's ridiculously not either of my two types. So that's a good start.  None of that "fancying your roommate" nonsense I really don't need any part of.

I had a dream last night about Benedict Cumberbatch.  This doesn't usually happen, which is why you get to hear about it.  We were either running a con or we were in disguise for some other reason, but regardless, I knew he wasn't French, and I'm very obviously not French, and so we were practicing some French phrases so he could sound more convincing.  And we did, and I had no idea what he was saying, but I was responding with what little French I know, and I kept having to not say it in what little Spanish I know (It's hard because the little French and the little Spanish are all the same phrases).  And we were awesome, and in a museum and then I got a Cumberhug.  It was great.

(You're welcome to judge me for the use of Cumberhug.  And any other phrases I use involving the word Cumberbatch in any way, shape, or form.  Just don't let on that you're judging me for it, because that will just end up with me being really embarrassed and completely shunning you for the rest of the day)

And it was refreshing not to dream about children or babies or anything like that.  That it happened to be a celebrity I crush on intermittently was an extra plus.  I really don't do that.

Or if I do, it's the kind of dreams I don't get to remember.  Which is most of them.

Study buddy will be a while.  Which is fine.

What else to tell you guys about....

It's dawning on me that if I just put myself out there, I won't always get shot down and forgotten about.  Surprisingly, people actually like me.  Which I find to be completely strange and weird, but I'm definitely not against, mind, it's just...for whatever reason I find it unusual.  I mean, I know the reason I find it unusual, but it doesn't make me feel it any less. 

I's difficult when you expect people to just not think about you, and to not notice you.  Especially when for a very long time it wasn't exactly an unfounded expectation.  And it allowed me to convince myself that very few people actually liked me.  So I have made an effort to be as unassuming, unoffensive, and totally friendly as I possibly can when I interact with people, because maybe I could change that they don't like me.  And I guess it's worked, but it's worked to such an extent that I can also let myself relax a little and become a little snarkier and a little bitchier (not a lot, I'm not a mean person) and just be myself around people and they like that even more, and I'm just sitting here like, would that really have been so easy if I'd just done it from the start?

And I'm starting to realize it would have been. 

And that's kind of a big revelation for me.  Apparently people just like me and it's WEIRD.  And I'm just trying to wrap my head around it and it doesn't always work, but it's starting to, and I don't want to keep saying it, because I feel like I'll sound conceited, but mostly it's just so I'll start to believe that it's actually happening.

I don't know, you guys.  I may have stepped into the twilight zone a bit.  But if the twilight zone is like this, I really don't mind it and I'm gonna start looking for real estate if it keeps up.

Thanks for letting me ramble at you.  I still can't quite believe more than just GL reads this, but it's true and I appreciate every single one of you.  I really do.


Until Next Time, Dear Readers,

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