Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Waiting Game

At this point, that's what I'm playing.  My charger doesn't reach the nearest outlet, my usual seat in the glass box was taken (actually...all of the seats were taken), so I'm in the student lounge, casually watching those about me whenever I decide to look up from the screen.  I've got a couple hours on my battery life as long as I don't look at any gifs or videos.  So tumblr is out of the question, and so are any of my favorite funny pictures sites, and youtube.  As well as any games, like Candy Crush Saga (which I'm bloody addicted to at this point.  It's like crack.  I've got to beat this level, I hate this game, oh! I beat it, look at me go, three levels later and start the process over again.

And mind, the first two parts of the process usually take days.

So you're going to get a stream of consciousness post from me.  Lucky you.

I need to be writing more of my stories.  But at this point, I hate them all and none of them are any good, so that's probably going to be a very long time from now that anything gets done.  I want to be working on them, but doing so makes me frustrated, annoyed, and bitchy, so...yeah.  Avoiding.

Kind of how I feel about my school work at this point.  I need to get it done, or I won't graduate, it's fairly simple, if I apply myself properly and actually, you know, get it done, but I hate it, it's frustrating, annoying, retarded, and it's all the computer's fault of course, and so yeah, avoiding.

It's a vicious cycle, because usually if I don't do one, I do the other, and it used to work out okay for me.  Except for this semester apparently, where the entire internet tempts me at every turn and I'm just like 'Ooooh, look, Sherlock series 3 has started filming, let's look at pictures of Benedict Cumberbatch's face because I have nothing better to do'.  Except I do have better things to be doing, but he's just so attractive and lovely, and apparently just a sweet puppy inside of a man's body according to the interviews and I hope he's really like that, because if he's actually an asshole, my whole life is ruined.

And Martin Freeman is a snarky, sassy bastard and I love him.

And where was I?  Oh yes, avoiding schoolwork and responsibilities.  I'm really good at it.  Trust me.

Why do you think my room isn't clean, I'm not caught up with my school work (it's not affecting me yet, but it will), and my writing isn't getting done?  Because I'm at work, and then I'm tired, and then the internet, and then oh, my other job, and then oh I'm actually at school and there are so many other things...

And it's just so...yeaaaah.

And I'm studiously avoiding anything pertaining to romance right now (which explains my lack of writing away quite quickly and effectively), because I just can't do it.  I'm not ready.  I'm decidedly not ready.  Despite how much I try to protest to the contrary, I am not ready.

I'm just not.  So I try and keep my contact with the opposite gender very minimal because the way my mind works, five minutes after meeting someone new, I've got the entirety of our relationship planned out in my head, up to and sometimes (depending on how much this guy clicks with me) including marriage.  It's distressing, hurts only me in the end, and entirely unrealistic.  So I'm just...not right now.

Hence the fixation on B.C., I suppose.

Also, I want to make adn. a thing.  An abbreviation, like etc.  But it's ad nauseam.  I don't know if it actually has a thing, but I want to make it one.  Except it looks like a misspelling of and, and that might not go over well.  I should look this up.  It does not have an abbreviation, but it ought to.  Possibly ad naus.  Or something.  Because that's a long phrase, and it could be overused to the point that etc (et cetera) is and lose all meaning entirely because people would use it in the wrong context and it could be GLORIOUS.

Except no one's ever going to pick it up.  And personally, adn. is my favorite.  Short, sweet, and too the point.  Ad nauseam.

Yeah, I had that thought in my Statistics class.

I'm trying to use some of my original characters in the way they were intended -- as original characters in already existent universes.  I had a couple from the Harry Potter universe, and I think I could possibly develop them further if I could look at them in the context of someone else's world.  And then I could build my own world around what they frame from that.  It's a complicated process.  Perhaps if I used a couple examples?

I have two characters, both female, and both started out in the Harry Potter universe (Marauders era, and if that doesn't make sense to you, read the books, and then assume the time period when Harry's parents went to Hogwarts).   Somewhere in the 70s or so.  I mean, I think that's the accepted cannon.  I don't know if it's technically Word of God, but it seems to be the prevailing theme.  We're going to move on from this because informing you of the language of fandom is likely for another post.  (and most of the information can be found on TV Tropes).

Anyway, these two characters started out as Mary-Sues, or a way to insert myself into the universe of the story, and create a fictional love-story between myself and a character. It's a term now to describe any character that does this in a overt, thinly veiled manner, where it's fairly obvious that it's just the author telling a story about themselves and making themselves more likeable.  Usually the theme is that everyone thinks the Mary-Sue is super po--
Damn I said I wasn't going to do this.  Oh well, might as well.  What else am I doing?

--super popular and likely uber special like a snowflake and completely unique and entirely historically inaccurate.  USUALLY.  The first one, Aries DieTraumer, was like this.  That was her original name, and it was a blatant attempt at self-insertion into a story.

She was to be the love interest of Sirius Black because everyone loves Sirius.  Siriusly.

The second was Melle St. Alvery and if you know my name, you know why this was blatant.  At least the first time I tried to hide it.  Nope, not this time.  Anyway, Melle was the sister/cousin thing of Snape (I never really finalized it) and was half-werewolf and this was written well before we knew Snape was actually *SPOILERSSPOILERSSPOILERS* because I'm not cruel and if you want to know, you can read the damn books, so her aunt/his mom was a mean bitch who hated Melle and it was to make the story more dramatic and emo because that's what I do.

Or did. because I was 14 at the time, and all the cool, non-homeschooled kids were doing it, and it was the internet and Mom couldn't see it.

And, yeah, eventually Melle and Remus had super lovelove times, then they eventually have an illegitimate kid, who may or may not be half-two-thirds-whatever-math-sucks werewolf, who we later find out is Seamus Finnigan because, wait what?

Yeah, okay, so Melle obviously had a more fleshed out story than Aries. But I didn't like Aries because she looked more like me.  Melle was completely different.  She had black hair and gold eyes.  Therefore completely different.

In the past si-seven (good god, has it really been that long?) years, they've obviously changed quite a bit.  Melle's name hasn't changed, but her hairstyle has several times.  I'm leaning towards keeping her with long black hair (with the grey streaks because you can't be a werewolf without going grey super prematurely), and one of her eyes is blind and has a scar because, duh, werewolf.  And she's a full werewolf now because half sucks, but it's my version of a werewolf and not J.K. Rowlings because mine makes more...sense??? I don't think so, but whatever.  It's not entirely different, but it's certainly not the weird naked thing that we saw in the movie.  And Melle is still a witch, but more like an actual witch and not a...magic witch which doesn't make sense unless I explain it but this is getting long and I really want to talk about Aries.

Aries has changed a bit more.  Oh, she's still a snarky sarcastic bitch, both of them are, but Aries more so.  And her name isn't Aries anymore.  Nor is it DieTraumer, because I'm not 15 anymore.  Her name is now Ethel Loryn Smith Dietram.  She goes by Ettie for short because Ethel is a horrible name for your daughter if you don't live in 1880.  Except I love the name Ethel, so I'll likely name my daughter Ethel because.  Ethel Rose.  But that's a completely different subject.  Where were we?  Oh yes,  Aries never really had much of a backstory because who cared about that when you were writing at 13?  No one!

Except for good writers, but I digress.  But now she's got a super complicated one.  Her original name was Ettie Smith, whose parents died when she was 8.  She was then sent to live in an orphanage (or foster home.  I haven't decided yet), where she was the eldest and was pretty much big sister to all of the kids, including her little sister, Rosie.  Rosie was taken by consumption because the world is a cruel place and it's some time in the late 20th century and what.  But okay, we're moving on.  A lot of this hasn't been fleshed out completely yet, but this is helping.  So anyway, orphanage, older sister, youngest sister dies in orphanage.  Then, suddenly, super wealthy family, the Dietrams (Mr. Dietram is the CEO of Dietram Incorporated which deals with technology and fashion because, duh, Mrs. Dietram has to have some say, and also she's related to the Royal Family of England and is a Lady something or other of someplace but we're working on that) come in and decide that as a philanthropy thing, they need to adopt a kid from the orphanage and then subsequently donate lots and lots of money to this particular orphanage in question.  So they choose Ettie because no one usually wants a kid older than 12 and by now she's 14 and a sullen teenager, and she's the oldest, but she's also the closest to Mr. and Mrs. Dietram's biological son, William (who is a whole other project and is only connected to Ettie via my own personal story and I need to work on him, because he'll eventually be connected to Melle, and ehhhhhhh).  Bill Dietram has just gone off to college, and instead of getting his wife a dog, Mr. Dietram has decided to appease his wife's wild notion of having a little girl to dress up as a doll.  But not a little girl, because she's so over that whole training thing.  She wants a fully grown girl, who she can dress up in pretty things.

Choosing Ettie is a horrible decision, but they don't know this for a very long time.  Because she wants to be loved, she has horrible nice-person issues, where she just wants everyone to like her, regardless of what she has to do in the beginning.  Because no one's wanted poor little Ettie for a very long time.

Aww, I'm making myself sad.  Okay, so she begrudgingly submits herself to Mrs. Dietram's will for five years.  And then she suddenly grows a backbone because strong female characters, yes?

So she moves out, refuses to go back to the pretentious school where they didn't teach anything interesting, like vigilantism, crime fighting skills, or the ability to become batman because you have loads and loads of burnable money you're not doing anything with properly. (she kind of has a big issue with this, obviously).  So she drops out, moves away, changes her name back to Smith (not officially, but it was never removed from her papers, so she hyphenates a lot, and usually just tells people she's Ettie Smith), and lives off of the income she makes as a barista at a coffee shop, and as a waitress at a busy pub.  The monthly allowance Mr. Dietram gives her because he does actually love her, and she loves him, but she doesn't love his money, she cashes and gives to the homeless people of London, where she lives.

I'm going somewhere with this, I promise.  She's who I'm working on right now and I really like the story but not enough to actually do anything with right now and I'm planning on writing it, I am.  It's just hard.

Anyway, so yadda yadda, London, barista, works in a coffee shop...Ah yes, so during the three year period where Sherlock Holmes is "dead" and John Watson is inconsolable (because he would be, don't you even fucking dare deny it.  They were in LOVE.  You can't take that away), John starts going to the coffee shop she works at, while he's been running his "I believe in Sherlock Holmes" campaign, whatnot, the whole time, and she's been writing the tagline above on every cup of coffee she comes in contact with during the day.  So when he notices, they strike up a conversation.  Her reason for believing in S.H. (Abbreviations because this is looooong) is because all her homeless friends are part of his network, and since they love her, she's privy to all of the information.  She's even met him once or twice while she was conversing with them.  Anyway, yes, so they become great friends and she's bitchy and sarcastic enough to fill in for Sherlock a lot of the time, and John is not-quite-smitten, but very close to being so, and asks her out, and she says "nooooope, not a chance" because she likes him, but she knows it won't go well because their only connection is Sherlock, who is dead, and you can't base a relationship on a dead man.

And then, duh duh duuuuuuuh, Sherlock is back (this might get written AFTER series three comes out, not sure), and he's like "Yo Jawn, come solve crime with me again," And John's all like "But I've gone on without you, look, here's my girlfriend Mary" and Sherlock's all like, "But...but," And John's like "You were dead! Why aren't you dead?  I should kill you for what you put me through by being dead but not being dead" and then Mary's all like 'Wtf" and Ettie is there because, duh, friends, and she's all like 'Dude, don't kill Sherlock, he's your friend." And John's all like, "fine," and he's like "But look, Sherlock, I've got friends and I've a life, and I can't do this wild wandering about town."

And Sherlock looks at Ettie and is like," Middle class, happy family, middle child, wants to be noticed, works two jobs, do-good-er, yaddayadda.  Want to solve crimes with me?" And she's all, "You got everything wrong, but okay."

And John still comes along (more often than he claimed he would), and Ettie and Sherlock start being all buddy buddy and he still tries to deduct her life, but she's frustrating, and yeah.

See?  I still can't write proper mary-sues. It's so transparent that THAT's what's going on.  But I don't like Irene Adler, I don't think she'd be a good match for Sherlock.  And John and Sherlock are my favorite, but Mary's a sweetheart in the ACD stories, and I like her, so I want to keep her without hurting her, so no J/S.  So Ettie -- almost like a female John, but just enough of Sherlock to make it like a nicer Irene.  I don't know...I'm grasping at straws here.  But I do like the premise.  We'll work on it.

And that's what's going on in my head.  I'm still trying to figure out how to insert Rianu back into his original story (YuYuHakusho), but that really just might not happen.  We'll see where I can fit D'Arty, because it will be easier to find him a place than to find Rianu a place.

Yeah...okay, we're going to...stop here because I need to plug in my computer.
Until Next Time, Dear Readers,

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