Wednesday, March 6, 2013

How did I manage to go almost 21 years without having heard "Like a Boss" before yesterday?  I'm asking.

I somehow caught the boat (ahem) on "On A Boat" and unwrapped the mystery of "Dick in a Box" as well as "Jizz in my Pants".  The second two due to the videos I was watching on Youtube at the time (please, please, don't ask.  I wouldn't even be able to tell you.  The first I managed thanks to my at-the-time love interest who decided I needed to know about that, as well as some Russian opera-pop singer (it's much better than that description says.  It's really good, honest!)

But despite the fact that "Like A Boss" has stuck around far longer than any of these particular memes, I was decidedly undereducated as to the origins of the phrase.


This is no longer true.

I'm frankly a little disturbed at the contents of the song.  In a humorous manner, admittedly (dark, dark sense of humor), but disturbed nonetheless.  It starts off all funny and obvious and harmless and then he starts in on this horrible little spiral that ends in (what I'm assuming is) a description of a drug-induced hallucination of burning up in the sun and dying.

I don't even...What.

How is that even...I get that the punchline is that he says "like a boss" "about 400 times."  but...what?

Bleh, staying away from THAT side of the internet.  I will go back to the safe, Benedict Cumberbatch filled side, thanks very much.

And isn't it absolutely terrible that he's 16 years older than me and thus will likely NEVER EVER EVER IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE UNIVERSE AND TIME AND SPACE be interested in me?  Ugh, way to friendzone yourself in your fantasies, Michelle.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers,

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