Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Well, it's Wednesday

So I'm waiting for my Lab.  I've got three hours to go.  You're going to get a blog post.

I dyed my hair yesterday.  And by "I" I mean that I went to see my bestfriendforever GL and she did it for me, because she's AMAZING.   I'm trying really hard not to draw attention to it, because I struggle with what I view as shallowness in myself.  And trying to attract attention and compliments from a drastic change I've made to myself (even if it's in an effort to make myself look better, I know it doesn't make sense, just go with it) falls under that category.

Apparently Facebook Messenger has this "other" feature, where you get messages from people who aren't your friends, but it doesn't tell you (which is STUPID).  It did help me avoid a few people I met on that dating site I reference occasionally (I think it's occasional? I don't know.  I tell people things so many times, I have given up on trying to decide how many times I tell people stuff).  It worked out well, I think.  I'm fighting with myself as to whether or not I want to be interested in anyone at the moment.  And I don't have time for a relationship in the near future.  But I'm worried that I'm thinking that because I'm trying to avoid getting hurt, or if I actually need to wait because I won't be able to handle it.

I know I should just wait, be patient, it will happen when it's supposed to.

I'm just a hopeless romantic and I doubt I'm going to get what I day dream about, so I try to cut off the thought before it gets to far, and I end up in this miasma of ennui (big words today) that I just float in until something new strikes my fancy and I'm like oh I want, and then I'm like oh but I'll never has, and then I just move on.

I suppose if it's so easy to move on, it's not what I really want.  Which suddenly clears EVERYTHING up for me.  Damnit, I was trying to avoid knowing what's going on so I could stay in the miasma for longer.


Well, regardless.

That's all I've got for today.  I forgot my earphones, so I can't listen to my DE class, so that's not going to get done, so I'm going to avoid working on one story in favor of a completely different one because I'm that good of a procrastinator.  I'll likely drop both projects in about an hour in favor of reading, because I am just that cool.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers,

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