Friday, January 25, 2013

Definitions of Beauty

NO, I will not be getting depressing today.

I want to reiterate something I touched on in a previous post I mentioned about how to properly call a girl pretty.

Because there is a right way and a wrong way.

Not all girls are "conventionally" pretty.  This is a fact.

You do not have to tell a girl who isn't "conventionally" pretty that she's not.  She knows.  She's probably WELL aware.  Even conventionally pretty girls don't think they're conventionally pretty.

And lezbihonest, regardless of how conventional her looks are, you think she's pretty and you want to tell her in some way that you think she's gorgeous, and is different from other girls.  "But how?" you ask, "Shouldn't I just say that I don't like conventionally pretty girls, and that should clear it up, right?"

*bitchslapsyoudown* WRONG!!!

Girls are, if nothing else, masters of reading between the lines -- even if there's nothing there to read.  And boy, do we read into things.

That sentence, the one you specified, the "I don't really go for conventionally pretty girls" or "stereotypically pretty" or any version thereof, has at least three ways to go wrong.

Let's dissect that.

I don't really go for: at this point, the girl is completely with you, knows exactly what you've said, gets every nuance and inflection.

Conventionally pretty:  This is where it gets hairy-scary.  Either you're saying she's conventionally pretty and you don't like her and/or she's not your usual type, which immediately sets her on a spiral of self-doubt and dismay.  OR you're saying she's not conventionally pretty, but why couldn't she be, and does that still mean you like her or are you just saying that to get somewhere with her?  Is it a line?  Again, self-doubt and dismay/self-hate-spiral.

I'm talking from personal experience here.

Telling a girl she's not conventionally, or stereotypically pretty, while a good idea in theory (it's not) is not actually a good idea.  You want to tell her she's different from other girls, in a good way.  You want to reestablish the fact that you like her and you don't want her to change (if nothing else, a girl never really wants to have to change for a guy.  We will, but we don't like it).

What you need to do is reiterate how SPECIAL she is.  How UNIQUE.  Grab a thesaurus, look up those words, and practice using the ones the thesaurus gives you.  If you are unsure as to whether or not it's a good word, dictionary it.  If you still are unsure go back to special and unique.  Don't over-do it though, she'll catch on.

Describe her using positive adjectives.  If you have to say "weird," "odd," "strange," or any variation thereof, steer clear of describing that part of her.  If all you can see is her boobs, maybe this isn't the right girl.

So we'll go back to your original sentence "I don't usually go for conventionally pretty girls" and we're going to modify that bitch so you can get a bitch, nawmsayin?

That sentence then turns into "Other girls aren't as unique as you are, or as special.  I could gaze at your (insert eye color here) eyes all day, and count the cute/pretty/adorable/interesting freckles on your nose forever."  This will disarm her self-hate-spiral into an open half-circle of hope.  She will be flattered, will likely blush, and then deny everything.

Let her, and then contradict her, with a "You're not (whatever she says that's opposite of what you think), you're super pretty, and I think we could make cute babies together.  Wanna go get coffee sometime?"  Modify it to fit the situation, make it your own.  Creativity is key here, boys!

Being unconventionally pretty isn't a bad thing, but we don't have to point it out.  Because we're all pretty in our own unique way -- conventional or not -- and we should embrace that wholeheartedly!

AH! and before I forget, when complimenting a girl on her looks, and she denies it, make sure you tell her how pretty she is on the inside, too!  That will make your argument even stronger.

Okay, everyone, that's about it.  If you have any questions, well...tough luck.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers,

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