Wednesday Realizations

I'd had one, and it was the original reason I was going to post, but I don't remember anymore.

My brakes are fixed, which is fantastic, and I tested them out going to see the lovely GL on Monday (which, quite honestly feels a lot longer ago than it actually was).  Tuesday I did fuck-all.  And today...today has been long.  Not necessarily bad, but long.  I've been ready for it to be over since six, but I've still got about a half hour or so until I can attempt to go to bed and wake up at the ass-crack of dawn reasonably awake.

I love my waitressing job, please, don't misunderstand about it.  It's just very difficult to get myself motivated about something that I have to wake up so early for.  I'm unsurprisingly (surprisingly? idk) not a morning person.  But I can fake it for work.  But it's difficult.  Standing on your feet for 6 or 7 hours dealing with people who are neither awake or well fed and are terribly grumpy about it most of the time is rather unrewarding, especially if you're me.  The one thing I get out of it is that I'm getting paid.  But that's not the reason I'm nice.  I'm nice because I hate going to a restaurant where the waitstaff is surly, unfriendly, or just plain uninterested in my (as the customer) experience.  At least pretend for a little while.  Trust me, if I can do it, everyone else can.

What else?

I'm exhausted.  Just...exhausted.  I know what the problem is, theoretically, but I'm finding myself not rectifying it.  Not because I can't, I'm just...not.  Maybe I'll grab a burger or something on my way between jobs tomorrow.

Oh yeah, because it's not like I have a hard enough time recovering from one job when I'm finished, I agreed to go in tomorrow on a day where I usually (and have to this week.  important, pays my bills, etc.) already have a job.  And yes, while it's at my parents' house, working with my dad, and generally is pretty fun, it's creatively exhausting.  And that's just as wearing.

And I'm really hoping I can pull my shit together and not look pathetic and...

Whoa, okay, not going there right now.  I've been battling the evil monster of self-doubt and lack of confidence all day.  I'm not going to let it get me now.  Nope.  Not a chance.

Working on a story, and I've got the whole first chapter written up and a second one started and I'm already wanting to change the style, and there are parts that will need to be fixed in the outline and I don't want to have to do it, but I need to because I'm following the outline and it's bloody important and ugh.  At least I don't have anything due in any classes for another week or so.

Alright, gotta go update elsewhere...This really didn't go very far.

I still don't know why I started this...I know I had an original thought and that's where I was going but...poof...gone.

Until Next Time, Dear Readers,
Me