Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Fate, Destiny, and Freezing Temperatures

Good evening, Blogger!

It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you are all warm and cozy wrapped up in blankets and sweaters and socks and warm things. It is VERY COLD OUTSIDE IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION. YOU SHOULD BE INSIDE WHERE IT IS WARM.

Anyway, I'm actually here to talk about said weather. I know, I know, breaking the silence for small talk, very unlike me.

Well, actually it's a lot like me. Whatever, moving on.

I'm the girl who believes in such odd thinks as everything happening for a reason, fate, the course of the world being essentially outlined for us to meander towards plot points that have to happen for the book to end successfully, that kind of deal.

So I am left to wonder, sometimes, what the HELL fate is preparing for me.

I've got a pretty good life. Cozy job, good friends, food in my fridge and the ability to go out to eat when the food in my fridge isn't as appealing as it was in the grocery store, etc. So I feel weird complaining about small inconveniences, such as a FREEZING COLD HOUSE HOLY SHIT.

Now, let me recap for you, since I'm not sure I've actually been over this on here. The house I am currently living in is about 200 years old. There is electric heating in at least 2 of the rooms, furnace heating in about 1 of them. There is no centralized air anywhere in this house. Also there aren't very good seals between the doors and door frames.

(they're bad seals, they totally don't want sardines in trade for balancing balls on their noses and instead maim their trainers. this pun got away from me, sorry)

This means that any time the temperature drops below a balmy 60 degrees F, it's like delving into the arctic tundra to get from a heated room to one of the unheated rooms for a necessary task, and then back. It's cold.

Thanks to this Polar Vortex that's drifted down (Thanks Santa, but if you're going to make it as cold as I wanted for Christmas, could you add some fucking snow in for down where I am? Screw the other states, I want some SNOW) it dropped to -1 and got up to a nice and toasty 10 today.

Have I mentioned that this house is 200 years old and has about the same insulation as it did back then?

It's COLD.

I've got the heat up MUCH higher than I usually have it (because it's usually not a problem, usually I can have it on its lowest setting and be quite comfortable if not almost too warm), I'm wearing two layers on almost all of my extremities (except my hands because operating a laptop is completely impossible with gloves on), I've got two comforters and one in waiting for when I actually decide to go to sleep. My hands finally don't feel like icicles. I think my heater is starting to work.

And the house only has one, unheated bathroom, all the way downstairs on the complete other side of the house from where my bedroom is. So I have to extricate myself from the cocoon of warmth and happiness, slip on my boot-slippers, grab my robe and hope my fingers don't break off and fall into the toilet.

And every time I do this, I think to myself, what the HELL has life got in store for me later on that requires that I have the skills i am honing now? Are we going to have another ice age, a nuclear winter that will be cold and I will have to pee outside in the snow and cold because someone couldn't keep their finger off a button? Am I going to be lost in the wild and need to survive the harsh Canadian winter, foraging for berries, and wearing whatever cloth I have in my backpack or find in the woods, adopted by a pack of wolves and marauding around the mountains, freezing important parts off and eating them later because we can't find any food?

That got away from me. Point is, there's gotta be a reason, and I hope it's not anything crazy or serious or bad.

Or maybe it's just a 21 year thing. Apparently when my parents first moved down here we got the snowstorm of the century and were without power for quite some time. At least I have power this go 'round.

Until Next Time Dear Readers,
Stay warm, stay safe,

1 comment:

  1. I find this post very amusing. Especially since I know first hand that you are actually NOT AT ALL exaggerating the FRIGID ARCTIC TUNDRA that is your house. Hope your nice warm ass doesn't stick to the icy toilet seat :P